Be Truly Generous In Dating

David Wygant  Dating Coach

     Do you really understand what generosity is?  In over a decade of coaching both men and women, I've learned a lot about how both sexes feel constitutes "generosity" in the dating context. 

     Now, let me say that there are women who are guilty of doing what I'm about to describe, so I don't want the men to think I'm picking on them.  During my more than ten years of coaching men while living both in Los Angeles and New York, though, I’ve met a lot of “generous” men.  I put that in quotations because these are men who just thought they were being generous. 

     A lot of these men bought women things.  They take women on trips.  They even bought women homes.  I have always disagreed with what they did, because it was clear to me that they weren’t being generous in the right way.  They were being generous with their money (many times so they could have sex with these women), but they were never being generous with their heart.

     These guys were being generous only because they wanted something in return.  They weren’t giving women a new car, buying them dinner or taking them on vacations without expectations attached to the gift.  They didn't give them these gifts purely out of any love they felt for these women as persons.  They did it because they wanted the women to whom they gave these gifts to want them ... and to desire them.  They were buying love, and they weren't being authentically generous with their hearts.

     Generously giving a gift to someone means giving that gift with no expectation of getting anything in return.  You essentially are communicating with the Universe by doing this, and by expecting nothing, you'll get back everything.  Every single time you give somebody money or a gift and you expect nothing back from them, it’s amazing how that money or energy you just gave will appear back in your life almost like magic.  It’s not really magic though – it’s just the way that things work!

     So when you give somebody something, ask yourself whether you are really being generous or whether you are offering something with expectations attached.  Every time you give your significant other, partner or lover a gift, ask yourself whether you doing it to get something from them or whether you are doing it solely because you love them.

     When you are truly generous in life, you will never expect anything back, but you will end up getting everything you ever wanted.  I want you all to ponder that for a little while.  I’ve seen complete and utter generosity from people, and there is a huge difference between them, and those who only give because they are looking to get.  Ask yourself which kind of generous you want to be with the person you love.