Changing Your Chair

-Devlyn Steele

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.

                                                                                                                   -Cicero

You can change your life by simply changing the seat from which you look at your life. Thanksgiving taught me this when I was a child.

Growing up in Manhattan was an obstacle course of speed, traffic, hustle and bustle. It was an exciting place with tons of energy. The abundance of energy pointed in a billion different directions, so you could often feel alone in your individual pursuits.

Then came the magical time of Thanksgiving, and the city transformed.

As the days grew closer excitement was in the air. People seemed warmer, nicer, and though the pace remained fast, it seemed to slow down. The stranger smiled as he pushed you out of his way. The cabby honks at you but omits the crass comment; you can feel that things are different.

Walking down Central Park, the cold air was just starting to make its way in and the city smelled fresh and clean. No Parking Wednesday and Thursday signs were posted about and the benches and barricades stood in piles along the sidewalk.

When Wednesday arrived it seemed everyone was on the same mission. The energy, instead of pointed in a billion different directions, had a common purpose. I felt a connection, a bond, as everyone smiled and the pushes and shoves changed to helping hands. The cheer was everywhere and strangers and friends alike wished you well on your holidays. You couldn't help but feel excited and happy.

That city changed into a town. It felt like Anywhere, U.S.A. where you knew everyone and everyone knew you. Living on the Upper West Side, Wednesday night was a special time. People blew up parade balloons alongside the Museum of Natural History; traffic was gone; crowds filled the streets. The shops sold hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks and I'd clasp my hands around the hot cup to warm them up. I'd get a peek at the magnificent balloons and everyone felt to me like one big family.

Early Thanksgiving morning I'd walk the dog in Central Park which is empty and quiet yet I can feel the anticipation in the air--in just a few hours millions will pour into the city as the nation gathers around their television sets to see the Macy's Parade. But in those early morning hours the world felt completely at peace to me. I felt the goodness of the hearts of my neighbors and I felt safe.

Then the parade and crowds did roll through and it was a celebration like no other with children perched atop their parents' shoulders clapping and gasping with amazement at the passing floats and sights. We showed appreciation for high school bands from all over the country, and then we cheered for the familiar float characters, which brought us so many moments of laughter and joy.

After we celebrate as a city and as a nation, it's family time. Time to gather and to sneak a few bites of stuffing before the long awaited meal is served. What a time to feel good and appreciate being with each other! A time to give thanks! It was a feeling I learned well and one that has always stayed with me.

I have a question for you: What really changes during Thanksgiving? Do people really change? Did the city become a town? What events changed?

When working with my clients I often ask them to do an exercise. I ask them to notice how the room looks from their chair, then move to other chairs and see how things look from there, finally returning to the original seat. Then I ask, "From each chair the room looked different, didn't it?" The answer of course is always, "Yes." Next I ask, "Did anything physically change in the room?" The answer naturally is always, "No." 

The point is that nothing in life really has to change for you to enjoy it, other than the point of view you choose to take. From what chair do you want to look at your life...the chair of have-not and disappointment; or the chair of opportunities, appreciation and gratitude?

Change your point of view and you change your life. New York changed from a city into a town when everyone took on a similar point of view.  When large groups take on the same point of view, whether negative or positive, we feel a common energy. What transforms Thanksgiving is the abundance of positive energy. We can feel it in our bones, and it feels good.

It is time for all of us to have an attitude of gratitude!

This week change the seat from which you look at your life. It's simple: Get up. Sit in a different chair. Think about all the blessings and opportunities you have in your life. Be thankful. 

In the United States, we celebrate Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love to get together with family to eat, talk and enjoy good company.  I like that the holiday is about taking time to be grateful. I believe that learning to be grateful uplifts our attitudes and improves our experiences in life.

Have a wonderful week of Thanksgiving,

Devlyn Steele