Don't Settle for Less Than the "It Factor"

David Wygant   Attraction and Dating Expert

     I was recently on the phone with a good friend of mine who just broke up with a girl he had been seeing for three or four months.  When I asked him what happened, he said, "It just didn't have that 'it factor.'"

     Have you ever dated someone who is so perfect that everyone who meets her thinks she is the most amazing person in the world?  She is warm. She is attractive. She is as nice as can be. She remembers your birthday in the most special ways. She calls at all the right times. She is totally charming. The sex is even really good. 

     I mean, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this person.  Nothing! She is everything you think you want . . . except you just don't feel the "it factor."  The "it factor" is that feeling in your heart that you get when you know you are with the right person.

     A lot of us will meet these "perfect" people and, because they are such a great person, we will give them an opportunity for a period of time to see if it can work.  Some of us will actually give these people an opportunity for a long period of time.

     My friend only gave her four months, but I know people (myself included) who have given someone years because you believe they believe you would be a fool to let such a perfect person go.  You think to yourself, "Is there something wrong with me?  I mean, I am staring at perfection and I must be crazy that I can't seem to feel what I want to feel with this person!"

     It is called chemistry.  I'm calling it the "it factor."  No matter what you call it, we are all looking for it. 

     You don't need to compromise in life.  If you don't have the "it factor" with the person you're with then you need to ask yourself: Why are we wasting each other's time? There is no reason NOT to have the "it factor" in your relationship, because it does exist.  I have it right now, and it is the most amazing feeling I have ever had. 

     The "it factor" for me with the person I'm dating means so much more than just being in love with her. I respect her. I honor her. I am more attracted to her than I have ever been to anybody else. She is my best friend and she is everything I always wanted.  I have the "it factor."  Each of you deserve to have the "it factor," and none of you need to compromise. 

All the power to you.