Embrace Your Wonderful Dating Life

David Wygant   Dating Coach

     Do you remember these poignant words, which the angel Clarence says to Jimmy Stewart's character George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life?  “Strange, isn't it?  Each man's life touches so many other lives.  When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? . . . Dear George, remember no man is a failure who has friends . . . See George, you really had a wonderful life.  Don't you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it all away?” 

     I know how stressful the holiday season can be.  I will be stressed out too if I have to watch one more Zales diamond jewelry commercial.  Then again, if it is followed up by the Budweiser horses it's okay.  It's December 2008.  Have you thought about how wonderful your life really is, or are you too busy thinking about what you don't have? 

     If you're a man, maybe you are wishing you were better with women.  If you're a woman, you are perhaps wishing that more men would approach you.  You might be thinking about how much chemistry you thought you had with the last person you dated, yet they didn't call you back.

     The problem that I find coaching singles, is that they are always thinking about what they don't have.  When I coach someone, I find that they seem to only focus on all the things that they are NOT, instead of embracing all the things that they are.  It's amazing how many people come to me who really want to learn how to approach women (or men), but they don't want to put in the work necessary to learn how to do it.  They do not practice every single day, and they do not embrace the small victories that happen every day. 

     What so many people do is they try something once, and if it does not work, they quit.  Last season, Peyton Manning threw six interceptions against the Chargers.  He did not quit.  He was down 21–0 and he kept coming back.  How is it he can throw six interceptions and keep going, but the average single person who learns a new approach will give it only one chance to work?  They will try it once, and if it does not work, they'll quit and re-embrace their fears all over again. 

     During this holiday season, give yourself permission to try new things and new approaches.  If you are only able to talk to someone for 30 seconds, then the next day try to talk to someone for 35 seconds.  Learn to embrace the small victories.  It seems though that when people are single, they always want to know ahead of time if they are going to succeed.  They don't believe or understand that learning to approach and connect with the opposite sex is a process that will have successes and failures along the way.

     Recently a student said to me “David, I don't want to approach a woman unless I know 100% for sure that it's going to work.”  So I used the football analogy on him, and I asked him “Is there anything in life that's 100%?”  The only things that are 100% in life are, as they say, death and taxes.  So during this holiday season, give yourself some goals.  You just can't win the Super Bowl the first time you ever play the game. 

     Take a look at your life and where you are, and start embracing little gains.  In order to become a master communicator, you need to put the time and effort in to make it happen.  It is not just going to happen overnight.  Every day allow yourself some practice time.  Go out and flirt with two people today, and then maybe with three tomorrow.  Instead of getting frustrated, start accepting the small gains.  In order for somebody to share your wonderful life with you, you need to first realize that your life is wonderful. 

All the power to you,

David Wygant