Fight Feeling Like a Failure

Brenda Griffin  Get A Job Expert

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
                                                                                           - Sir Winston Churchill

     It is heartbreaking to listen to the unemployed tell how they feel about losing their jobs.  In quiet moments of conversation, most admit they feel like a failure.

     Men in particular explain they feel they've failed themselves and their families. Since they're hard wired to provide, their identity is closely connected with their job description and paycheck.  Take those things away and they risk becoming lost and wounded because they're no longer performing to this expectation. They've fallen into the performance trap and are still spinning.

     Women explain how they feel cheated after layoff.  Knowing they've worked hard, they question themselves wondering what they did wrong or could have done differently. They, too, wonder if they failed.  I wondered that too, the first time I was let go.

     What concerns me most about many unemployed is the impact these feelings have on getting back on track.  They are stuck in a performance trap and need a new truth. One that sinks deeply into their thinking so they can move forward, successfully. 

     Christian author Robert S. McGee describes in The Search for Significance the lie people believe about their value.  What is this lie?  "Self worth = performance plus the opinions of others".  Are you falling for this lie too?

     Yes, you are paid for tasks you perform. You perform for a paycheck, not your value as a person. Salaries are set by the value of problems you solve for employers and vary depending a many factors. But all is equal when it comes to your value as a person.

     My favorite story of a man who fell for this lie is the Christmas classic movie It's a Wonderful Life.  George Bailey is so distraught about the possible failure of the Savings and Loan that he is ready to jump off a bridge.  Thankfully, George is led to see what his true value is.  His thinking is literally transformed in one night! Here's another truth: anyone's can.

     In the story, the various hats that George wore in his life flash in front of him.  He is a son, a brother, a husband, father, friend and businessman.  In his quiet moment of reflection, he is given a gift - knowing how much space he's taken up in the lives of others. Still further, he sees his affect on those he loves most, when his space never exists.  Have you considered how much space you take up in your life and others?

     Instantly, George has an Aha moment. He sees his value as a person!  George sees truth. He is more than his job description. Loosing one hat is not a show-stopper after all. He has a wonderful life. Can it be true?  YES. He has value simply because he lives. So do you.

     His confidence restored, he has all the courage he needs to get back in the game of life and take action in his business affairs. Yet, the magic of renewed thinking continues to unfold. 

     As George sheds his feelings of failure, he is now able to see and receive the support and resources available to him.  No, he is not alone.  Neither are you.  His friends and family, those he shares his space with, are quick to be by his side. They were there all along.  He just didn't see them while lost in his feelings of failure.  Do you need your own Aha moment? 

     Fight feelings of failure.  Make this a priority! Reach out to people around you and remind yourself that losing one of your hats is just that and nothing more.  Don't give up on your search and getting your career back on rack.   Transform your thinking with the truth and watch your own magic happen. 

Have a powerful week of powerful thoughts.