Healthy Relationship Ingredients

K. Wordbird Bate  

     The holidays are grounded in spirituality, family and joy. Yet there are stressful and perhaps lonely times. Sometimes we see some patterns in ourselves, our families or our relationships that we might like to look at some more. Below is a list of some healthy relationship ingredients. No one is all these things 100% of the time, but we can work to be these things, and bring them into our relationships. Use the relationship affirmations to reinforce what you want to be and feel.

Some Healthy Relationship Ingredients

Trust:  I am willing to allow trustworthy others to gain access to who I am.

Respect:  I treat others as valuable. I use a respectful tone and words.

Honesty:  I don’t keep secrets, or play games with the truth.

Consideration: I stay mindful of the other person’s needs and feelings.

Acceptance:  I feel good about who I am. I see others as okay.

Integrity:  I know my values, and I maintain them.

Understanding:  I communicate so I am understood. I empathize and listen to others.

Boundaries: I can say, “no,” take some space, have some privacy, ask not to be touched, and make my own decisions. I allow this to others.

Self-Awareness:  I stay in touch with what I know, need, want and feel.

Communication:  I can talk freely about important issues. 

Commitment:  I am able to work through discomfort and hard times. I can rely on myself to do what I say I am going to do.  

Self-Responsibility:  I take charge of my own goals and needs. I don’t expect others to fufill me, make choices for me, do what I should be doing, or answer all my needs.

Maturity:  I interact, express and react as a grown person. I don’t fall apart, have tantrums, give the silent treatment, abandon others, act in spite, or call people names.

Equality:  I’m a sharing, equal partner. Neither Taker nor Giver.

Directness:  I can say clearly and warmly what’s going on for me. . I’m not sarcastic or sideways. I don’t manipulate, confuse or maneuver others.

Change:  I allow myself to change and grow. I don’t sabotage change in myself or others.  

Touch:   I am able to give and accept affection and support through touch.  

Emotion:  I allow myself the full range of emotions, and express respectfully. I allow others their emotional expression, if it’s respectful of me.

     By comparing healthy ingredients to some unhealthy behaviors that may be in your behavior or your relationship, you can decide which areas are most important to you, and which ones need some work.  Then you can work toward creating more of what you want.  Because the first requirement for growth is to know, and be, where we are.

Affirmations:  Choose a couple of these, and say and think them often to reinforce the message:

I congratulate me on the person I am; and the person I am becoming.

By accepting myself, I reflect light on all those around me.

I accept the people I love as they are right now.

I allow myself to absorb love and acceptance from others.

I am worthy of forgiveness. I love and forgive myself.

I trust that others know best how to live their lives.

I speak to others the way I would want them to speak to me.

I have the right to laugh and feel happy.

I open myself to receive all good things!