Hitting The Target

-Devlyn Steele

The odds of hitting your target go up dramatically when you aim at it.

-Mal Pancoast

There you are with a ball in your hand and a target twenty feet in front of you.  The target is clear and you are well within a distance that you can hit the target. You focus on the target with your eyes and mind. You are totally concentrating and confident that you can hit the target. You release the ball and the target is easily hit.  Great job!

Now imagine trying to throw the ball and hit the target, but this time instead of focusing on and thinking about the target, you focus on and think about what you do not want to hit. So there you are, getting ready to throw and all you repeat to yourself is, "I'm not going to hit ___" , over and over again. The more you focus on what you do not want to hit the harder it becomes to hit the target. In fact, in the end you will hit what you focus on.  Instead of hitting the target you will hit what you don't want to hit because that's what you focused on.

Imagine yourself exactly in that position. You have to take a ball and hit a target. I ask, "What are you going to focus on?" Any reasonable person would say to me, "the target of course." If I then ask, "why?" The most likely response would be, "because I want to hit the target.' If I said to that person, "instead of focusing on what you want to hit, I want you to look and focus on what you do not want to hit and then hit the target." "The most likely response would be, "that doesn't not make sense."

That's right, it wouldn't make sense to focus on what you don't want to produce. You wouldn't tell a baseball player to concentrate and say to him/herself, "I'm not going to strike out." Instead of, ‘I'm going to hit this one." You wouldn't have a student focus on not failing rather than doing well. In every case we know the right approach is to focus our energy on what we want to create rather than on what we want to avoid.

However, concentrating on what we do not want to hit is often how we try and hit targets in our life.  We don't focus on what we want to accomplish, but on what we don't want instead. For example, "I am not going to______ for thirty days."  It might be drink, smoke, eat badly, spend money, or a thousand other things we do and then say we won't.

We're constantly focusing on what we are giving up. "It will be so hard to go to that party and not drink." The target we want to hit is being drink free, and yet we focus on the drinking and then wonder why we don't hit the drink free target. Instead of focusing on what you think you are giving up, change your focus to hitting the target. I can't wait to go to that party and be drink free. I will have so much fun talking and seeing my friends. I will enjoy the control I have over me and how I wake up the next day refreshed. 

Instead of focusing on the things you are giving up, change the focus to what you are gaining. You don't lose weight by focusing on how bad being overweight makes you feel, or on how much you miss eating what you want. You lose weight by focusing on how good you are feeling and how proud you are of yourself. You focus on the target you want to hit rather than the target you are trying to avoid. 

I often refer to life as an analogy to driving a car. Your life is your car to drive. You can't drive your car by focusing in the rear view mirror, or looking out the side windows. You drive your car by looking ahead to where you want to go. You have to know where you want to go and have a clear map to get you to your destination.  You must have enough fuel and know where to refuel when needed. As you drive toward your destination, you continue looking ahead and handling the road in front of you.

To recap, focus on the target you want to hit and drive your car to accomplish what you want in life. Every time you catch yourself looking at the target you do not want to hit, imagine the analogy of throwing the ball. Then, change your focus on to the target you want to hit and see yourself hitting that target. Keep your focus, and the more you practice the easier it will become. As you learn to keep your focus on the right target, you will hit the targets you want in your life.