Is Knowledge Power?
- Devlyn Steele
Peter was particularly a bit sad and thoughtful this morning. He was slumped on the couch hurt sad and lonely. The woman he was currently dating told him that she was done. I asked him, "Peter, what is it that you want now?" He said, "I want to be in committed relationship. I want to have kids and get married."
I said, "No you don't." The words came as a surprise to Peter who objected, "How can you say that, that is what I really want and I know I am ready."
I said, "Peter, that might be what you feel you should be doing, or maybe it is on some level what you have always imagined for yourself, but your behavior does not equal up to that outcome." He anxiously replied, "How so?"
"Peter" I said, "Imagine you are a trainer and a client begins with you by saying that they want to get in great shape, but the client didn't want to change his or her diet or work out regularly. What would you think?" Peter replied, "I would think the client was being unrealistic and that they could never get in shape that way."
"Peter" I said, "Do you think that your behavior is matching the results you say you want?
That is the question I have for everyone, do your actions match the results you say you want? I have clients each and every day tell me what they want. Regardless of what people say they want, if behavior does not equal getting those results then the change will not materialize. I often find that people know what they should do to create changes that they want, but do not apply the action.
If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
We study about how to create success in order to change circumstance in our lives. In order to do that the real goal is to change what you are currently doing. After all if you continue to do what you have been doing, then how can anything ever change?
If you want to lose weight, but continue to eat and exercise like you always have, you are not going to lose weight. If you want to have more money, but continue to earn and spend the same, once again your circumstances will not change. The same holds true with your relationship life, if you approach it the same way nothing will change.
"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do."
-Johan Von Goethe
There are many books and people that will give you good advice. The question is how do you actually apply it. Advice only can help you if you apply it! You do not change your circumstances by getting great advice or even knowing what to do. There is only one way to create change, and that is to apply action.
I always tell my clients that the old saying, "knowledge is power" is wrong. Knowledge is not power, it is potential power. Use of knowledge is power. It is like a parked car with a full tank of gas. The gas is idle without power until the ignition is turned on. Learn what you need to do to create change and fill your car up with the gas of knowledge. Then turn on your ignition so you can literally drive to the destination of your choice. Then your knowledge will have power.
bethrook at Mon, Aug 16 04:13 PM:
Can someone give an example of what kind of behavior should Peter have that is different from what he has been doing?
sjw2005 at Mon, Aug 16 07:11 PM:
The first paragraph states his current girlfriend just left him. I am imagining without Devlyn being blatant about it that Peter probably did not do "HIS" side in relationship so that repeatedly failed. Yet he dreams of being married, being a parent and so on. If he really wanted those things he would work on himself and make the changes to make things happen.
For myself, it is my weight. I was gangbusters for awhile lost 55 lbs in about 9 months but I have stagnated (NOT plateaued) for the past few months because I had not been putting in the effort in to change that I knew I had to. A plateau would have been I was doing everything I don't but the weight was refusing to drop but if I am honest with myself I stopped doing everything I could. Enuf said.
Have a GREAT MONDAY everyone.
videomemo at Thu, Aug 19 10:09 AM:
Having Three Ex Wifes, at first I blamed myself, but it takes two to have a relationship. I learned to love myself and then when ready find a mate with similar qualities and tastes to mine, I took a while but now I am happy and so is she. We do things together allot but yet have our own time alone too. I started by taking myself out to dinner and getting to know me and what I wanted in a mate. Then I met some wonderful people turned me on to NLP and Learning about how people think and achieve great things. I also started TTL here and learned even more about myself. I shared with other what I had learned and made lots of friends, one of which I am with now, we share goals and love life as it happens each day unfolding before us like a map. More people should use TTL before they start relationships there would be less divorce and less betrail if you learn about life first. More later ...
Mambo Mary 13 at Fri, Aug 27 02:29 AM:
This is my area of trouble, relationships. I am getting out there, know myself well, but am still looking to get married.
Jayne241 at Sun, Aug 29 04:39 PM:
This is a great article! My problem is in the actual doing, the "changing actions". I get very enthusiastic when reading advice and self-help books, but it takes more than that. Tools helped me overcome that in a huge way. I'm now going through the program again.
Re. relationships: One thing I've heard said in more than one way, in several different programs and books: If you want to be loved, ask yourself if you are being loving and love-able. Instead of saying "I want to find someone who will love me and be in a relationship with me" say "I want to be a loving person and it would be great to find someone I could love and to share my life with." Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
ai at Thu, Mar 10 06:07 PM:
I agree this is a great article. I recently read a book that said when emotional or life issues come up, whether in general or with an individual to ask yourself "Am I missing something?" This seems like what Coach Steele is pointing at. Looking at yourself. The easiest way to stay in your current path is to be defensive and not take a look inside.
It also seems like not enough people truly know themselves and love themselves (this includes me at times). They try to get into a relationship. When I start to lose site of who I am or don't take the time to be grateful I am me.... all relationships in my life seem to fall apart. That includes kids, significant other... etc.
tracy36 at Sun, Mar 13 01:09 AM:
JUST TRY YOUR BEST TO LOVE YOURSELF AS A PERSON AND HOPE YOU FIND LOVE,THERES MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR LOVE AGAIN.YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.MAKE THE MOST OF IT LOL