Learn the Art of Follow-Up

David Wygant  Dating Attraction Expert

     I just wanted to share some thoughts with you today on the art of follow up.  The key is to follow up with everybody.  This keeps you in a very social environment, and it keeps you socially engaged all day long.  This is equally important for women to do as it is for men.  Many women will not follow up with the guys to whom they've talked so, in turn, guys don't follow up with them. 

     You want to be able to go out, play, and just have a good time.  Even if you're not interested in a person, following up is important because other people are always looking at you.  You will notice that especially when you are having fun, people will check you out and look at you.

     So say you're walking through a mall and you see a woman that you've talked to before but aren't really that attracted to her.  You can still follow up and say "What are you doing?  Are you making laps around the mall?"  By either saying something playful or saying something based on what you remember from your previous conversation, the two other women that are walking in your direction will notice that and notice the woman smiling at you.  This will give you instant social proof.

     Everyone wants to talk to the fun person.  Nobody wants to be approached by or to approach the boring person.  You're basically building up your social energy.  This is why I stress how important it is to talk to EVERYBODY.  You have to make yourself available - emotionally, mentally and physically. 

     This is where people make the biggest mistake.  They will wait and only talk to that one person to whom they are attracted.  If you do this, you're going to be so nervous that you won't be able to actually speak to that person!  The longer you wait between conversations with people of the opposite sex, the bigger it gets built up and the more the monkey chatter increases in your head.  You'll get more nervous and the experience will become more traumatic.

     One great technique you can try is to give people compliments.  Compliments have no outcome derivative.  Paying someone a wonderful compliment, e.g., telling them they look great, basically opens up your energy.  It's like good karma.

You can just walk over to someone and say, "Wow, that dress looks great on you!"  Don't expect anything back from them.  You should never expect anything from anybody.  One client of mine termed this as "the throw and go."  The "throw and go" will keep up your social momentum, and it will also keep you in a good frame of mind.  If you're in a good mindset, you'll feel good and you'll stay open to opportunities.

All the power to you.