No Inspiration. What to Do.

What do you do when life feels like a dead end?

I am often asked what to do when you have no inspiration.  Recently I received a letter pleading for more help. In case you find yourself feeling this way or know someone who does, I really want to find a way to make an impact.

The letter described a bleak outlook, “Coach, I appreciate your wisdom and how you want to inspire people to move forward in their lives.  With me it’s just not sticking.  I hear the words and in fact it only makes me feel worse.  Recently my spouse left me.  I hardly see my kids and when I do the relationship is strained and not the same. I got very depressed and lost my job.  Losing my job put me in trouble with child support. That makes seeing the kids even worse as my ex-spouse describes me in less than flattering ways to the kids.  I live in a single room I am renting in a less than desirable neighborhood which is very depressing and again, I have no place for overnights with the kids.  I don’t see any of my friends or family and am embarrassed about my life.  Everyday seems to be getting worse not better.  I have no desire or energy to get out of bed and I don’t think I am suicidal, but I don’t see the point anymore. Telling me to move forward is just not helping.”

There are many events in life that can put people into a tailspin.

Losing a job.

Divorce and heartbreak.

Natural disasters that destroy homes and neighborhoods.

Death of a loved one.

Financial crises.

Severe sickness, chronic pain, or new physical challenges to either you or a loved one.

When you feel like you face endless personal pain and you see nothing in your future, what do you do then?

First, be kind to yourself. Don’t panic if you are down. It is natural to have a sense of loss, depression, and fear when traumatic events take place.  The most action oriented positive person you know will at times be stopped in their tracks.  The wonderful thing is that the human spirit has the capacity to bounce back. Sometimes we have to allow ourselves a grieving period and not judge ourselves for being human. No matter how bleak things are, time does heal. Even if that sounds like a cliché, it is true.

The truth for most of us is suicide is not a real action that we will carry out. If however you do start thinking that way GET HELP.  In time most of us will get back into action.  Action is the way out. To get back into action gives us a sense of control and begins to restore confidence. That serves as a healing mechanism for your soul.

The action doesn’t have to be huge; don’t put pressure on yourself.  I am talking about getting back into action with the little things in your life:  getting up, exercising, eating right, getting to work or looking for work.  Take control of little actions and you will build back to a greater vision of your life.

That is the next step to healing—restore your vision. It’s impossible to drive the vehicle of your life to a new destination with your eyes closed not knowing where you want to end up. You have to decide to open up your eyes and embrace the daily work of taking action in your life.  I know that is hard when you feel like nothing matters.  That is why you have to decide that something does matter. You need to get back vision.

You have to start seeing what you want your life to look like next.  Start developing a paragraph or two of what your life can be.  Write this vision statement down and write it in the present tense.  Then you have to “Train Your Brain” to start seeing that vision by reading it out loud to yourself when you get up, a few times throughout the day, and before you go to sleep. 

It is true; telling someone to move forward is not enough.  In the end you have to make a decision to move forward yourself.  What is important is you hear me tell you that no matter what, you can make that decision and once you decide to here are TOOLS we can help you in your journey.

I know it works. Small daily action together with new vision and you will begin to work your way from where you are to a new and better place.

Always on your side,

Devlyn Steele

P.S. Last week I mentioned Larry Benet and his Connectology Seminar. I received many emails asking for more information.  I rarely place links as I want to make these Monday Inspirations all about you.  Yet so many requested, here it is:  http://www.larrybenet.com/