Phone Strategies

David Wygant  Dating Expert

     A lot of guys don’t know what to do when they talk to a woman on the phone. The key things are: where did you meet her? How did you meet her? And what do you remember from meeting her?  What a lot of guys do is just randomly meet women and just grab phone numbers, without knowing anything about the woman. When they call her on the phone, it’s like making a cold call. It’s no different than doing a sales call or getting a lead out of the phone book – you don’t know this person at all.

     But let’s say that you know a little something about her. Or let’s take it step deeper, and when you meet a woman, start gathering information about her. It is important to gather information all the time. When you meet a woman, you want to remember that it’s a special moment. It’s like that Hugh Grant moment  – you’re creating a romantic comedy! So let’s say you meet a woman in a coffee shop, and when you’re talking, you find out that she loves Italian roast coffee. She says, “God, I really love Italian roast coffee, it’s my favorite!” because you are talking about Italy and different things.

     You’re in the ‘gathering information’ stage. The more information you can find out about her the better. You want to continue the adventure. So to ask her out after you talk, you say, “I know this great place for Italian roast coffee, I’m going to take you,” and she says, “great” and gives you her number. You call her up, and you say, “Hey, Italian roast coffee girl, what’s going on?” – you have a nickname, which already is creating intimacy. If you think about it, nicknames are a form of intimacy, so it’s more playful, fun, and flirtatious.

     So when you call her, you first call her Italian roast coffee girl, and she’ll start laughing a lot. You ask her, “Alright, are you ready to try the best Italian roast coffee in the world?” Then you say, “Well, I don’t know if you’re deserving of it” – you tease her, and you’re being very playful. But you’re also continuing that magic moment that she remembers.

     Women are wired like a romantic comedy. They want to know that when they meet you, you remember things.  So the thing is to gather as much information about her as you can in the first meeting, and take that information with you to the next phone call, which will then lead to the secondary adventure. When you lead to the secondary adventure, it’s going to give her something to look forward to, and you’re not going to run out of things to talk about.

     You’ll always have something that is your “thing” – something you can do together. It’s your little inside joke. You’re Italian coffee guy, she’s Italian coffee girl.

     You want to create that magic moment. If you do this, and remember things, the phone calls will go really smoothly. Once again, remember things, and you’ll be able to talk about anything. Keep the momentum going from the first time you met.