Self Help Responsibility

One of the most powerful concepts that exists in self-help is the simplicity of responsibility.  This is also often one of the hardest obstacles for people to grasp.  No one likes to be responsible for areas in life that are not working to our personal satisfaction.

If we are not happy in our relationship it is either easier to blame the other person’s behavior, or if you are not in a relationship, to blame circumstances for not meeting that right person.  Who wakes up in the morning and says how I feel in my relationship and in my life is my responsibility?

If my career is not on the right track, it is because the market is tough, my boss is unfair, I get no breaks, so on and so on, but that it is not something that I am doing.

If I am unhappy with my body, I know I have tried everything.  Diets just do not work.  I have no time to work out.  The time of year and parties don’t give me a chance to eat better now.  Once again, it is not what I am doing.

My house, money, clothes, happiness, anything and everything has a reason.  Even my emotional well-being is a result of how I was raised.  We do not call these reasons excuses, we define them as explanations.  As long as there is a reason then it is just the way it is. It means that we have no responsibility in what is happening and therefore do not need to do anything.

If we are not responsible, it means that we cannot affect the situation. You can’t tell me that you like the circumstances that you are explaining that you want to live with, do you? So the real question I have for you is why are you making yourself powerless to change them by explaining them?  Wouldn’t you prefer to change them?

There is where self-help responsibility comes in.  In order to create change you have to acknowledge that in actuality you are self-sabotaging yourself with your explanations. It is not easy to recognize that you are holding yourself back. It is just easier to find a way to explain it rather than face our own participation in what is happening in our lives. 

If you really want to change what is going on in your life, you have to take responsibility.  You may not be responsible for how you got to where you are.  That does not matter. It doesn’t matter because where ever you are, only you can change it.  If you are not responsible, you have no power over it.

If you are blaming or explaining, and the reason lies outside of you, then an outside circumstance has to change for that part of your life to change.  You have no power over outside circumstances and therefore have no power to change what is going on.  When you become 100% responsible, that means you are 100% powerful to change your circumstances because you have 100 percent power over you.  So, do you want to become powerful and create change in your life? Or do you want to have no power and just explain why things are?

Stop explaining, become powerful and take responsibility. Start creating changes in your life. 

Be Powerful!

Devlyn Steele