The Light Is Green

-Devlyn Steele

Peter was particularly a bit sad and thoughtful this morning.  He was slumped on the couch, hurt, sad and lonely.  His girlfriend of three years had told him that she was done.  The situation had been going back and forth for a while and he realized it was over, but he really didn't want to be alone.

I asked him, "Peter, what is it you want now?"

He said, "You know, I am older now and really want to be committed and settled with one women.  I want to have kids and get married."

I said, "No you don't."

The words came as a surprise to Peter who objected, "How can you say that, that is what I really want and I know I am ready."

I said, "Peter, that might be what you feel you should be doing, or maybe it is on some level what you have always imagined for yourself, but your behavior does not equal up to that outcome."

He anxiously replied, "How so?"

"Peter" I said, "Imagine you are a trainer and a client begins with you and tells you that he wants to get in great shape, but then he doesn't want to change his food choices or work out regularly, what would your reaction be?"

"I would think the client was being unrealistic and that they could never get in shape that way." Peter said

Peter, I said, "I have clients each and every day tell me what they want.  My feelings are that regardless of what a person says they want, if  behavior does not equal getting those results then it will not materialize.  On that note, there are specific areas I look at to see why behavior and stated goals do not equal up, then I can see how I can help the client achieve desired results if possible, the answer is always working towards matching behavior with stated wants."

We all want!

Yes, it is true we all want changes and improvements in some area of our lives. I know I do, and I am willing to wager you do as well. Suppose I were to tell you that you can see real improvements and changes in your life, what would you think? Let me rephrase that question, suppose I could guarantee changes and improvements in your life, what would you think?

Maybe you might think that sounds too good to be true. It sounds a bit like an infomercial, "Guaranteed results, or your money back!!!"

Once you guarantee results there are two reactions, those who step right up because they want to believe in magic answers, and those who get turned off thinking it is too good to be true.  However, there is an answer to create changes in your life that is not magical, and it is not too good to be true and it is guaranteed!.

Let me ask you another question.

Do you believe it is possible to lose weight? I am not asking if you believe that everyone can be a super model, just lose some weight?

Do you believe it is possible to improve your skills in relationships? I didn't ask if you have control over another person, but is it possible you can learn more to improve how you are in a relationship?

Do you think you can learn how to make better choices?

Do you believe it is possible for you to get more education, training and improve your career in some way?

Do you think you could make better spending and saving choices?

How about health, could you take better care of your health?

Is is possible to quit smoking, alcohol or other items that might be causing a negative effect on a person's life?

Is it possible that you could learn how to relax more, enjoy more and feel better...just even a little little bit?

Wow! That was a lot more than one question, or was it?

The real question is, the one question and the only one that counts is,

"Do you believe that no matter how small, that you can make changes and improvements in your life?"

You see, you don't need magic, or to think that creating change sounds to good to be true. All you need is to believe that change on any level is possible. If you believe that, then you need to really want that change. Once you believe and you really want it, then you should be willing to move your behavior in the direction of creating change...then change will start to happen. If you are unwilling to change your behavior, but yet you believe change is possible, then you must not really want it.

Imagine a person is on a street corner and they tell you they want to be on the other side, but they are just standing there still. If the person believes that they can cross the street, and they say they want to cross the street but still they stand still, wouldn't you think that they really didn't want to cross the street? Decide what side of the street you really want to be on. Don't keep looking over to the other side saying you want to be there if you are not willing to cross the street. I know, I know, you are waiting for a green light.

The light is green...now which side to you want to be on?