The Power of Hello

     Recently, it almost feels like now, one of my most stubborn clients who challenges every level of my brain when I coach her, posed this problem: “I’m having the hardest time getting my keister out of the house and practicing hello. I feel if I do what you tell me to do - which is say hello to men – they will think I’m coming on to them. And if they think I’m coming on to them, and they don’t respond, then they are going to talk about me all day long, and I am never going to be able to show my face in public again.”

     So what did I tell my client, who happens to be a good friend and a favorite client, but who thinks she is a pain in the keister?  (By the way, I never used the word “keister” before…but there’s something sort of ‘Leave It to Beaver’ about it and I like it for her…)

     I said, “Go out. Whenever you see a man, utter one of these variations of the word hello: hey, what’s up, how you doin’, hello, or hi. Do that for thirty days.”

     I told her some men are going to say hello back; and some men are not. If she spends thirty days saying hello to every man she sees that she is attracted to, though, the end result will be far greater than staying home not talking to anybody.

     Here’s an irony about my client. If you met her and talked to her, you would soon realize she can talk a blue streak. We can get on the phone and yap for an hour about nothing, and it is always me who ends the conversation. Yet, she cannot talk to men to whom she is attracted. She can’t say, “Hello,” to them.

     If you are a woman who doesn’t have skills to talk with and smile at men, you are going to spend a lot of time by yourself. You HAVE to learn how to flirt a bit, so that men will approach.

     The best way to start is to learn that saying hello to another human being makes you more approachable. Also, by forcing yourself to say hello to men all day long, you will realize it is not that painful. By realizing it’s not that painful, it begins to feel easy. Then you can have fun with it.

     When you open a conversation, some men will take it further and some men will not. Regardless, you still open up your energy. You become friendlier. You even change your body language. You’re not walking around tense or awkward, anymore. That will feel better.

     Stop waiting for men to walk up to you. Start smiling and saying hello. Don’t spend your time wondering and worrying about what they are thinking. I’m a guy, and when a woman says, “Hi” I think, “She’s friendly.” If I am attracted to her, I’ll try to get to know her better. Most men are refreshed and maybe relieved to come across a woman who makes it easy for them to talk with her.

     The bottom line is this: Stop worrying about what other people think, and start enjoying yourself!