The True Meaning Of Cheating
David Wygant Dating And Attraction Expert
What do I think about cheaters . . . and cheating? People always ask me "David, how do you feel about cheaters?" Let's talk about cheaters in relationships, and let me tell you exactly how I feel about them.
First let me preface this by saying that I'm not exactly a "goodie two shoes." I'm not saying I've been perfect my entire life. So don't think I'm about to preach about something I've never experienced. I can tell you something right now though. It took me a lifetime to find the person that I love. I honor her, I adore her, and I would never do anything to break the trust that we have. Then again, I'm also someone who has done a lot of work on himself so I knew exactly what I wanted in my partner.
For those of you who feel the need to cheat, I know you fall into a few different categories of why you feel you need to do this. I have friends who cheat on their wives, and they tell me they cheat because "it's just what men do." I also know people who rationalize cheating by saying "Men cheat, so I'm allowed to cheat." I also know guys who have great sexual relationships with their significant other, but they still cheat because they just need a little extra "somethin' somethin'" on the side.
For all of the people out there who are cheating and rationalizing it, you are the people for whom I have no respect. I have no respect for people who cheat because they don't have the courage to actually talk about their relationship with their partner. I have no respect for people who cheat because they can't admit that they might need to break off the relationship and be on their own again, and due to some weird co-dependency issue or "staying together for the kids" justification, they stay with their partner while they continue to cheat on her.
I have no respect for people who cheat and can't admit that they made a mistake. I have zero respect for any of these kind of people because they all are not being honest. You have got to be honest with your partner.
If it's not working out, then you need to be honest about that. Cut your losses and move on instead of cheating. Even if you have kids or even if you're financially dependent on somebody, there are better ways to live your life. The kids always know when their parents are unhappy, so you're not fooling them by staying together.
If you're too cheap to get a divorce (which I know some people are) because some guys or some women have been the sole providers and you're too cheap, then basically you're living your life of hell. In that situation, you're basically more married to a bank account than to your partner. God forbid that your bank account should be cut in half! You'd rather just cheat on the side and be in a miserable marriage your whole life. You know what? That's your own self-torture you've created for yourself.
Money can be remade, but you will never be able to make up all the time you lose being with someone you don't love. Life is about finding love and not being miserable. As far as I'm concerned, if you're cheating for any of these reasons, you need to grow up. You need to really look in the mirror and realize that this ride you're on is not going to last forever.
Life is a one-shot deal. Granted, depending on what you believe, you could be reincarnated and come back as a dog, a cat, or another soul. You really don't know what's in store for you. So if you are out there cheating because you're not happy in your life, it's time to look yourself in the mirror. It's time to step up. It's time to cut financial losses. It's time to be honest with the kids.
Most of all, it's time to be honest with yourself and go find true love. Let me tell you something. I have true love, and nothing feels better than it does. Nothing feels better than waking up every single morning with someone you think is the most amazing and incredible person you've ever met. The rest of you are depriving yourself.
All the power to you.
jwillo1 at Fri, May 22 10:50 AM:
Wow! I am going through this right now. It was helpful to read how some men think.