To Write:  Face Your Fear

K. Wordbird Bate  Writing Expert

I always have a sense of trembling, but so does a compass, after all.  ~ Jerzy Kosinski

     I think my mother will forgive me if I write about feeling fear, since she mentioned it to me, as have many other aspiring writers. “Yes, I want to write,” they say, “but it’s scary!”  That’s right. It is.

      Fear is a big reason many people, “die with their music still in them,” as Wayne Dyer says. It takes courage to follow your bliss, to voice, to let out your hidden and secret insides, even in a private journal. I find that the day I am no longer anxious is the day I am no longer saying anything vital. To take yourself and perhaps some readers into a true adventure, which is what everyone wants, you will at times feel uncertain, inadequate, and afraid. Think of your fear as a good sign you’re on the right track. Anxiety can both motivate you, and bring out your best work.

     So feel fear, and do not let it stop you. Abraham Lincoln had such stage fright, he threw up before he stepped on stage. Virginia Wolfe believed one day the public would realize her writing was terrible, and reject her. John Steinbeck, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and Margaret Atwood admit to significant writing terror. It is simply mortifying to stare at a blank page, and there is more spookiness to follow!

     So let’s agree that to write from a real place inside yourself, about something you really care about, is scary. It is scary when you begin; it will continue to be scary. It will also be elating, astounding, and fulfilling! Here are reasons you may feel fear, and ideas for facing it down to empower yourself.

You may feel fear because:

1. You have this crazy idea that what little ole you has to say, your opinions and feelings, are worthwhile. Your inner voice says, “Ridiculous!”
2. Each of us has a secret self safely held inside.  Now you contemplate splattering that secret self all over a page. Acckkk!
3. You have a history, like most everyone, of red pen marks, a C+ in poetry, and mockery, jealousy and criticism from well-meaning and not-so-well meaning others. People have laughed at or belittled your values or ideas.
4. You have an Inner Editor (or nagging, critical, mocking reproduction of the people in point three) so now, you are your own worst critic.
5. You are a strange one. You’ve always felt things other people do not feel, said things other people didn’t get, obsessed about issues other people seemed to forget about instantly. You feel the world in a different way than many people you know. Therefore, others may reject your writing. You could be stoned! Tarred and feathered! Run out of town! It has happened to writers, and the idea twists your belly into knots.
6. You have many strict internal rules. You were taught that what you think and feel is unacceptable, weird, dull, mere drama, bigheaded, impolite, fails to be earth shaking, and so on. To break internal rules can be truly scary.
7.  Sounds terrible? No problem. Just go get a “normal job,” (as my father once advised me), join the crowd, blend in, and forget about your Bliss!
8. You can’t?  You feel driven to express?  Well, then. People may say you are crazy and who knows, you could be missing some marbles. Hey, that is part of the job description. Are you going to keep your foot on your face your whole life? No! If you were, you wouldn’t be reading this. You are going to write!

Since you are going to push past these fears and empower yourself, try this:  

1. Gently, firmly and repeatedly inform your inner Editor s/he is not needed right now. Every time s/he speaks up in your head, you say, “Your comments aren’t welcome right now. Good bye.’ Your inner critic believes it is UNSAFE to write. S/he’s just trying to save you from the terrible mistake you are making. Therefore, be a good parent and tell yourself, patiently and repeatedly, you do not need those comments. They will eventually diminish.
2. Do not share with unsupportive people. Critical folks are voicing their own fears and inner criticisms. Still, it’s like touching a hot stove. Don’t do it twice! Only share your vulnerable writings with people who earn your trust.
3. Quit avoiding! You do not need a new computer, writing room, special pen, and three quiet hours a day before you can begin. Start writing, now.  
4. Take a class you have heard is exciting, fun and supportive. I wrote an Inspiration about taking classes. Go read that. Then sign up. A class can help you, as Susan Jeffers writes, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Plus, you’ll meet other strangies.
5. Say these affirmations many times a day. Write them all over the house on post-it notes. “What I feel and think is worthy.” “It’s safe and joyful to voice who I am.”

And finally,

Let Yourself Bloom,

© Kimberly Bate

Photo by Officially a Mom