Want To Be The "Cool Guy" In Your Dating Life?

Recently I was having a discussion with a friend of mine, and he asked me “Is it possible for a person to learn how to be cool?”  I looked at my friend, who is 47 years old, and I said, “This isn't high school.  You mean you want people to think that you are cool?  Are you looking to date a cheerleader?  You want to become one of the popular kids?” 

This conversation, though, did get me thinking more deeply about this topic.  Life is really like high school. People of all ages walk around and try to be accepted by other people.  If you go into a bar, for example, you always see the group of guys that are “cool.”  They are talking to all the women.  All the women are talking to them. 

When you go to a kegger . . . oops, I mean a wine and cheese party (which is the same thing for adults), you will see the groups of people that you know are cooler than everyone in the room.  They are the ones chatting everyone up, and people are lining up to talk to them. 

So what makes somebody "cool?" 

A lot of people think a shortcut to becoming cool is to dress a certain way.  I know fashion is important, and it's great to look good.  How you dress by itself doesn't matter.  If you look good but you are feeling insecure, you simply look like a well-dressed insecure person. 

The only way to become "cool" is to become secure with your self.  When you see a group of people that you think are cool and you believe you are not as cool or hip as they are . . . then you are absolutely correct! 

This old adage is true: What you think about you bring about.  Dating and life are all about having the proper mindset.  There are no shortcuts to becoming "cool."  There is no magic pill you can take that will make you instantly cool in the eyes of others. 

You need to believe that everybody you talk to is your equal.  You need to start becoming that cool person by engaging others in conversation, instead of waiting for them to engage you in a conversation. 

Standing with your hands in your pockets at a grown-up keg party hoping people will notice you, is not being cool.  Walking around the room and engaging others in conversation is the way for people to notice that you are one of the so-called "cool people" in the high school of life. 

All The Power To You,

David Wygant