What's Da Matter?

-Devlyn Steele

There is something the matter, isn't there? Of course there is, there always is. What if I told you that this is the way it is supposed to be. Life is not about not having problems. In fact, life is really about having problems. How it could it not be about having problems? From big to small, life will always throw obstacles in our way. It may be the weather, the economy, bills, or someone we care about. There are always problems, aren't there?

Even when you think things are under control, the car breaks down on the way home. Then you get the car fixed and when you get home the dishwasher floods the floor; it really never stops. The house seems to be okay and then the gremlins pop up at work: the shipment is late either coming in or going out. Someone you depend on becomes undependable. The boss is in a bad mood or a customer goes nuts. You go for a run to get it all out of your system and you twist your knee.

The car, the house, the job and your body seem to be all good and the person you are in a relationship with wants to "talk." We all know what that "talk" is about: problems. Phew, you get that settled and your child's school calls: your daughter or son got into a fight. Your kids are okay and you are finally relaxing and the phone rings: someone in your family is very sick. You get past that, you are on your way to work and your best friend calls: she or he is getting divorced and needs your shoulder.

Okay, things finally really settle down and nothing else could possible go wrong. I mean really, things are under control. You are sure of it, and then Mother Nature comes knocking on your door with a hurricane.  You see, this whole idea about control is an illusion.  We don't have any control. There is no such thing as control. No matter how hard you try, something will always be out of your control and your life will always have problems.

It's hard to believe, and you ask, "Can it really be that way?" After all, you look at other people and you hear about other people and you think that it is different for them. Guess what? Behind every ivory tower, life is the same, full of problems. You are still sure it is not, so you search for ways to live problem free. You think, "If I earn more money the problems will go away." If I work harder, if I spend more time at home...if, if, if. None of your "ifs" seem to eliminate the problems, so you read more books, thinking the answer must be there. Maybe Oprah will have the solution.

No matter what you do the problems don't go away and they still keep coming...knock, knock, knock. You can try to not answer the door, but the door starts to open anyway. So you put all your energy into blocking the door, but the problems still get in. So stop putting your energy into trying to stop the problems and instead open the door. Put your energy in to how you deal with life's problems.

In the end, life is not about not having problems. You are supposed to have problems. It is how we manage our problems that matters. Somehow we think that having problems (as we call them) should not happen to us. We think that there is a way to stop them or control them. The only thing you can control is yourself as you encounter what life throws at you. Instead of even calling the obstacles you encounter problems, just call them life.

Life without problems means no life. You wouldn't want life to go away, so don't wish to not have problems either. Embrace problems and embrace life. Within each obstacle there is an opportunity for you to manage your life.  So the next time someone asks you, "What's da matter?" instead of complaining, just say, "Nothing, I am living my life, nothings da matter."