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Join Now Where Do I Go From Here When I Hate My Life? - Article from our Life Coaching Programs
 

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Where Do I Go From Here When I Hate My Life?

By Devlyn Steele

 

            In this world of change, nothing which comes stays, and nothing which goes is lost.

                                                                                                              -Anne Sophie

 

Over the years working with people I have heard these words uttered many times, "Where do I go from here when I hate my life?"  People come to these words from many different places, some through a relationship breakup or divorce. They talk about a feeling of having invested many years into a relationship and having had that stability and anchor in their life and now it being gone so they don't know what to do.  

 

People also reach this point through job loss, financial hardship and health crisis.  You can even reach this point with no crisis at all. It can simply be by default. People find that the years have slipped by and they are not in the careers, relationship, body, and more that they had expected and wanted for themselves, and they feel lost and helpless to change it.

 

I have great understanding and empathy for this feeling having hit a crisis in my life that became a turning point. Faced with complete loss in my life when my brother took me in is where I rebuilt to where I am today. I have a clear understanding of loss of where you are, and a loss of where to go. That is where Napoleon Hill's words ring so true, "Every adversity bears the seed of equal or greater opportunity."

 

That is our challenge, not to focus on loss but to look at where we go from where we are. The real challenge is accepting the gap. There is a gap between where we are and where we have once been or where we think we should be. It is as if we are standing on a ledge of a canyon looking at the ledge on the other side and we want to figure out a way to jump across. But the distance is simply too far.

 

As we attempt unsuccessful ways to jump, we get frustrated. Our frustration leads to anxiety and depression as we feel stuck on this side of the canyon. We wonder why we are here and how did we get here. We blame others and then we blame ourselves. We go through a series of mood swings at times leading us to destructive behavior as we try and self medicate our deep sense of loss. Worse is when these lead to desperate behavior where we make every wrong decision we can think of trying to force change. Then finally we can just get to a point of doing nothing as our despair and lack of success turns us to being lethargic and de-motivated. It is as if we just sit down on our side of the ledge and stop even looking across at the other side.

 

We reach this point for two reasons. First, we do not want to accept where we are. Second, we do not want to accept the work that it takes to cross this gap. You need to do both, accept where you are and not be angry about it. Then you have to accept that it takes time and work to cross the gap to the other side of the canyon. Since you can't make the jump you need to work day by day to build a bridge.

 

The great truth about life is that you can always change your circumstances. It is never too late to start building a bridge. It doesn't matter where you are in your finances, your career, your relationships, your physical life, your emotions or your spirit, you can change it.

 

Will it be instant? No, it will not be instant.

 

Can you jump across the gap to the other side of the canyon? No, you cannot!

 

Is it ever too late to build a bridge? No, it is not!

 

The amazing part is, when you decide to start building a bridge, you feel better day one. Taking back that control and changing your thinking to positive thinking gives you a sense of self-respect and re-ignites confidence.  It creates a sense of purpose, and from there all sorts of good things happen. Don't concentrate on not being where you want to be. Concentrate on building the bridge to where you want to be, and you will not only cross the gap to the other side of the canyon, you'll enjoy the journey.

 

Start building your bridges today...

 


 

This week if you or anyone you know has suffered job loss or wants to make a change in career, we are launching Get A Job Tools at no charge. Spread the word and take advantage of it.


 

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Comments

 

 

 

I enjoyed this article. It reminded me not to blindly jump, and not to sit down and wait for the tides in life to carry me along.

 

 I thought once I got to a certain age things would settle down, my life would feel as smooth and organized, as purposeful as other lives look from the outside.  It's never going to, I'm older than I ever imagined being and the decisions and changes keep coming on. So do the opportunities, and wonderful new places to be and to learn. More bridges to build.  

Thanks 

I liked this article after my husband died I thought I moved forwards but in reality I just sat, I kept thinking about all the negatives instead of looking at the positive I stopped looking acrossed the canyon. I even jumped off of the canyon recently but something saved me. I overdosed and thought I was helping everyone but helped nobody.

I liked this article after my husband died I thought I moved forwards but in reality I just sat, I kept thinking about all the negatives instead of looking at the positive I stopped looking acrossed the canyon. I even jumped off of the canyon recently but something saved me. I overdosed and thought I was helping everyone but helped nobody.

Thanks a ton Devlyn, ring's so true.  I was in this exact boat, I was in a deep depression, frustrated and made many unsucessful attempts to make the leap.  All I could say was "I hate my life"  However, building a bridge with positive thinking has taken me in the right direction.

That is fantastic Troposs that you can get frustrated to the point where you can say, "I hate my life." Now you have to apply the methods of positive thinking to realize that it is not that you hate your life, it is that you hate that you are not doing anything to change it. The first change is to change the way you think and yes to have a positive thinking attitude. Then you will start to believe that you can do something about it and you will get into action. Getting into action means you will see changes and you will never say, "I hate my life again." Change how you think and you change your life, start positive thinking today! Cheers!