Who’s Stealing Your Joy?
You’ve had a long day; it started out as they say, “on the wrong side of the bed” and never got on track. The alarm somehow didn’t go off so you woke up late. Hurrying, you spilled coffee on your shirt. Traffic was heavier than normal which made you even more late for work. Of course when you did get in there was a note on your desk from your boss asking to see you. Naturally when you are late that is the one morning the boss needs to see you.
Clients were upset, coworkers were not helpful and the day dragged on like you were stuck in a time warp. You finally are on your way home and you need gas. Pulling into the pump someone cuts you off. When will this day be over? There must be a conspiracy; the world must have decided to make sure that you are in a terrible mood. It’s all happening to you.
We’ve all been there. Who hasn’t had a bad day? Even if the entire day is not bad, things go wrong all the time. There are just so many variables--work, kids, home, health, finances, relationships--it’s endless. Then there are people to deal with. There are those people who seem to make it their mission to be rude, irritating, obnoxious, and disruptive one way or another.
It really can just be too much at times. Maybe you find yourself getting angry a lot, or if not angry upset. It seems that you stop smiling and lose your joy. Events and people are literally stealing your joy.
Or are they?
Either way it’s not your fault. It’s these events that get you mad or upset.
It’s reasonable to get mad or upset when these things happen and it’s not you.
Or is it?
It can’t be you; after all you did not have anything to do with it! These events happened to you, so there is nothing you can do about it.
Or is there?
So do you know who is stealing your joy?
It is not any of these events or people. No matter what it feels like it is not happening to you, it is just happening. Life happens and guess what? It happens to all of us. We all get stuck in the same traffic. After all if that weren’t true, there would not be any traffic.
So who is this villain who keeps stealing your joy?
You are the only one who can steal your joy. That might seem unreasonable, after all you did not cut you off driving, you were not rude to you, you did not make any of these things happen. Any normal person would feel the way you do. It’s not you and you are not responsible.
But you are. No event or person can make you mad or upset and steal your joy, only you can. It’s never about what is happening that makes you mad. It is how you internalize it, and that is your choice.
People are as happy as they choose to be.
– Henry Ford
It is not what happens it is what you are thinking that gets you mad. Change what you are thinking and you change what you are feeling. I know this is a hard concept to grab on to. I know it seems reasonable to be upset when things are going wrong or people are rude to you. But listen, if it were not how you think, if it were truly the events that are responsible for your moods, you would always feel the same way when the same events happen. We know that is not the case.
Some days the traffic is of no concern. You don’t always notice that same rude checkout clerk. You react differently to the things in life that come up day-to-day. That is because you don’t always think the same thing in response to them. So it is never what is happening; it is always what you think about what’s happening. That’s what gets you mad or upset.
So when you feel yourself getting mad or upset, decide to change your outlook. Literally change the station in your head. When you hear a song you don’t like on the radio you scan for a better one. You can decide to listen to another thought and not let the thought that is playing in your head take over.
Your attitude is your decision. Decide to have a positive one. Change your thoughts; change your life.
Don’t steal your joy.
News at Mon, May 19 06:47 AM:
Instead we need to make our joy "Steele" with the tools Devlyn teaches! ~News
mitchelle.goi at Mon, May 19 07:24 AM:
People are as happy as they choose to be.
I used to be these group of people for my past 8 years whn i stepping into my career business and i decided to continue our Relationship where i truly believe he really in love with me... after 8 yrs... i felt he and my friend stole my joy... without my concern...
We have a complicated relationship with her and she plan to built my trust and seal my relationship...for the pass 5 years.. i'm trying to be tolerate and patient, 1 day the story will end but till the moment i'd my wedding and my baby in my uterus for 29 weeks... i found both of them had their baby who almost 4 months old... but he insist want our relationship as his wife to be continue and let our complicated relationship with a family as a begining our marriage...
do u think i can continue choose a positive attitude to grab back my joy?
she insist not leaving and be his supporter to make all the story play till now...
how can i be making the ending of this story...
how can i give my baby a fair choice and a healthy family... should i decide to let go or how... i'm struck there... really hopeless...
we had tried to make a long discussion but the truth is he will no longer leave them behind as irresponsible to the baby for 4 months? how can i make my decision?
my commitment with him only as wife, but also mother and also a business partner for 8 years. everything sem tied a knot... make me difficult to let go.. but of course i'm still felt i'm loving him.. but i felt hopeless and losing trust toward him.. and insecurity...
Wordbird at Mon, May 19 03:39 PM:
Hi M, another great place to post to get lots of great feedback is in the Support Group "Someone Always There." Many members will see your post and talk this deep disappointment through with you.
I agree it's challenging in really tough times to keep thinking positive and take positive actions. But that is the best way through a situation to the other side.
Wordbird at Mon, May 19 03:40 PM:
So we'll Steele Our Joy?
so2u at Mon, May 19 05:55 PM:
Right on...and the quote by "Saki" (Train the Brain day 3) about the "instinct for being unhappy highly developed" is priceless-!!
In Joy, Susan
babboo at Tue, May 20 10:02 AM:
This is absolutely true. From a psychological standpoint, much of how you process what is happening in the world is from whether you have an internal or external locus of control.
If you have an internal locus of control, you are more likely to process these things in a way that you won't be adversely affected.