You Drive Me Crazy

By Coach Devlyn Steele

The person you are with drives you crazy until they drive you crazy. Think about when you first met and how you were attracted to each other. All you could think about was how much you wanted to spend time together.  You thought about how amazing this person was. You were excited to see each other and had energy to share stories, find things to do, laugh. You wanted to kiss, hold hands--you were just excited. 

The feeling you had drove you crazy!

Over time, you settled into your relationship and you stopped thinking about it, and went about the routine of life. Your mind focused on work, family, your house or apartment, finances, movies, sports, and endless categories that men and women think about.  You no longer had that excitement to see each other. Sharing stories at times was a chore to either tell them or have to listen to them. You can’t remember the last time you just kissed.  Instead of thinking how amazing this person is, your thoughts are about how annoying they can be.

Now instead of them “Driving you crazy” they make you “Crazy!” Yes, crazy turns to crazy!  You know all their annoying habits and you easily get annoyed. As you get annoyed it is hard to be intimate or to have the same level of fun you once had.

Well, you actually have the power to change all that.  This should be exciting for you.  It’s true, the power is all in your hands. Funny you didn’t know that. In fact, you had no clue because you have been arguing and getting into fights about these issues over and over again.  You have been trying to be powerful and change the situation.  But though you do have the power to change it, you used your power in the wrong direction.  You have tried to change the other person. Instead you have to use your power to change the only thing you have power over, yourself.

The problem is not the other person, the problem is how you are thinking.  Here is a concept I tell each couple I work with. The outcome is that you will either spend a lot of the quality of a relationship being annoyed, or spend it appreciating and enjoying the person in your life. I tell all my clients:  

“You have to learn to love the thing you like the least about the person in your life.”

You are not going to change each other.  To be in a healthy relationship you have to accept the person you are with, and love them for who they are. They are the same person you fell in love with, with the same habits.  Don’t try and change the person in your life, change your attitude and accept the person in your life as they are.  When you concentrate on loving them rather than being annoyed by them, you then will enjoy your time and intimacy, and excitement will flow stronger in your relationship life.