Thinking things through - added: 2012-08-08 13:39:53

I've got problems in my relationship. For the past 14 years, I've done what I wanted to do without really worrying about the consequences. If I didn't feel like doing something, I didn't do it. I conveniently "forgot" or gave an excuse for why I didn't do it. Hey, it's the shoemaker's elves...they can do it. But in reality, it was my spouse who picked up the slack. She was my memory, housekeeper, bookkeeper, personal assistant, cook, and basically my mother.

I can look back and see how I was dependent on my mother to do the same things. So, I've forced my spouse into a parent role, and things have boiled over since we both hate the place we are right now.

My goal with this group is to have a place where we can celebrate successes, share mistakes to hopefully prevent someone else from making a similar mistake, and teach each other coping strategies. 

The first area I need help with is thinking things through and being aware. For example, last night, my son and I (a Cub Scout) were going to National Night Out. My son had to be in his full uniform, but we couldn't find his neckerchief and slide. Now, if I had thought things through, I would have seen days or even weeks ago that his slide was missing. Instead, we spent a few frantic hours searching for the missing uniform parts, and never found it. My lack of forethought stressed out and infuriated my wife, stressed out my son and I, and we ended up late going to the event.

So, my question is, has anyone else developed a strategy to deal with something like this?

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