I am a young girl going through relationship dependency issues. I go from relationship to another so I am never alone. I stay with people who I know aren't good for me. Whenever I am alone I feel completely lost with no direction. I don't know how to be alone.
I have been in and out of a relationship for the past 2 and a half years and even though it was some of the most difficult times of my life it was also some of the best. I would't say that it was emotionally abusive, but as always things are said and feelings are hurt, but it's usually out of anger or pain. My supposed ex and I haven't been together in a little over a month and this is the first time that I haven't ran into the arms of someone else. I'm trying to do things differently this time and Im especially trying not to run into my ex's arms. At least not for now. We both need this time apart and it's taking everything out of me to not just call him sobbing and begging for us to work things out. I blam him for a lot of the things I've gone through because I always do something stupid when he and I break up. I want to be able to just be with me for a chance, but it's hard... I haven't really been without a partner since I was 17. I feel like I never give myself time to breath before someone is breathing for me. I'm not perfect and neither am I trying to be, but I just want some peace for once. I know facing life alone is one of my biggest fears, but I need to know how to overcome it. I need to separate being lonely from being alone. I just felt like venting to soomeone else besides my friends and family because everyone around me is biased. They love my ex almost as much as I do so it's hard to vent and not throw him under the bus. Honestly, I know what it's like and I'm here to listen if anyone needs me to :)