He has been gone since Friday. I have received two very short emails – everything is ok. I will try to call tomorrow. Love you. No calls

 That’s it. I have sent a few that I was hopeful he would respond too. I let him know that I would love to talk to him and wished he would call. Nothing. I am tempted to call the hotel and try to catch him, but what if he isn’t there and I get more upset? I am trying to not be needy, but I just want to be important enough to him to take the time to call. I don’t know if this is unreasonable, or normal. I have tried really hard to focus on good things today and think about my power, my lies, my complaints and what I should being doing to better myself. But it isn’t working. I have been sobby today and I just miss him.

How do you know when what you’re feeling is normal and balanced or when you are being neurotic? He comes home late Saturday evening and I am afraid that I might go further down the spiral. I have already started to do the nervous vomiting.

He is with one of his buddies on a dive trip. One of our hobbies. At a place we talked of going to together, but have never been. I am glad he gets to go, I just freaking miss him. I get all these pictures in my head of what he is doing, having a great time and not missing me at all. Checking out chicks and glad to be away.

I just want to crawl into bed and not come out.