finally feeling - added: 2009-02-25 12:29:37

Its been five years since i lost Michael.  When he died I started using drugs pretty heavy to numb the pain.  I was sober for 7 and a half months till I slipped up last week.  But now that I am finally sober I am forced to deal with my emotions.  My husband OD'ed and and I woke up on his dead body.  The visions and night mares I have are sometimes unbearable.  I'm having a real hard time dealing with my fellings.  I was numb for so long. I have a hard time crying  I alway force myself to stop.  I feel as though I am weak when I cry, it's hard to explain.  I just don't know how to deal with any of this...

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