Depression
How has depression affected your life and the lives of those around you?
What have you done to combat depression?

What do you think?

Depression is a way our mind or "ego" deals with being over whelmed. First we decide that what is going on is "bad" or "wrong", then we decide that we can't take anymore of it. At this point we start to shut down.  When we shut everything out there is no way to learn and grow. Depression is a choice. I have felt it before. Many times all I wanted to do was go into a corner somewhere and cry then sleep. Crying can be a good way to expel some of the stimulouse that we have decided we "can't take anymore of" The fact is that we CAN take it. When we just accept things as they are our tolerence level increases and we come out stronger AND CLOSER TO WHO WE REALLY ARE.

it's too bad that this thread was started by someone who doesn't seem to have much knowledge about depression. the statement that we have a choice about depression is incorrect; not everyone does. i realize that it is just an opinion of nufaith13, but it is stated as fact. there are some great contributers further down this thread. so, if you're here and depressed... read on! 

Everything in your life is a direct result of things you have done and thoughts you have had. Does this mean you are being punished? No it means take responsability for your life. You have the power to change your life. Our soul has come into this body inorder to experience itself in a certain way. All the things in your life are there so that this can happen. You have the choice of doing it the hard way or the peace way. Instead of looking at everything in your life that you don't like as "bad" think of it as a lesson, a blessing. It is bringing you closer to the realization of who you really are, what your soul is here to experience. If the same things keep happening to you over and over then it's time to do something different. That voice in your head that tells you your not good enough is liying. You are beautiful, smart, kind, magnificent, and perfectly able to do ANYTHING you want to do. God made you perfect and pure, start acting as such. I love you.

I tell myself every day i am beautiful. I used to say i was average. Now i am actually giving myself the convidence and the strength to look at theirror every day to say i am beautiful!

If i find something i dont like about myself i try to change it. I gave up drinking because of the way it made me feel the next day. I gave up drugs a long time ago because i lost my job and almost lost my apartment. I gave up relationships when my spouse cheated on me or wouldnt work. Thats their problem not mine!

I told myself i was too good for them if they wanted to cheat on me or Not going to work everyday and stay home and nurse a hangover. Maybe it wasnt right but it was my encouragement to move on and better myself.  (sorry to sound harsh) 

Yes these were depression area's in my life. but i changed them for the better.

It takes a lot of work and courage to get out of the depressed state and to live in the moment and not focus on the negative especially if you've been thinking that way for a long time.One does need information and support but also to take action and actually do the work.Been struggling for a long time and starting to see a twinkle of light. Wishing rays of light for all of you and me.....Gina

I struggle with depression at times. I cope by living in the moment and reassuring myself that this too shall pass.

Dixie

Everybody suffers from depression from time to time. The good thing is recognizing it, and knowing what to do with it. We all control our own thoughts. Our thoughts lead to our emotions, and our emotions tell us what to do. So, essentially if we control our thoughts, and we are harboring bad thoughts (stinkin thinkin) we are going to be depressed. Thinking or cahnging our minds to think good thoughts is an exercise. A difficult one, at best, but when we find ourselves in a sea of depression, we must say (aloud) good things. Start counting to ten in your head, OK now say your name. Did you stop counting? Saying things aloud abrubtly halts your thought process. Exercise away your stinkin thinkin by saying good and positive things! Believe me, I do it and it works!Tija

Depression = thinking about yourself too long. I fight depression by focusing on others and there needs. God allows me to Praise Him and think about all my blessings and that pulls me out right away.

very good advice

I've battled depression since I've grown keloids on my ears and since Hurricane Katrina in 2005. The keloids on my ears have destroyed part of my image of myself since I've always been a beautiful woman but this one thing makes me feel worse since I can't be free to show off my beautiful face anymore. I've never been worried about my self-image but this is definitely wailing on me and my loved ones especially since my husband is a very social man who loves to go places and I have to wear a wig to hide the keloids, I make mild movement to keep them from being exposed, and I'm just not myself anymore. I like to be free whether it's in my self-image or in my actions but now it's different for me and my family.

As for Hurricane Katrina, we moved to Houston, Texas from New Orleans, in November of 2005, and I feel out of place. I feel out of place because I'm homesick and because I'm out here with no one to turn to. My husband has his brother, his sister-in-law, their daughter, and a few family friends with him while I have no one to be friends with (I also have a social anxiety which prevents me from making new friends; I find it difficult) and no family to turn to when life gets rough and I feel just down. I'm tired of my husband telling me to suck it up. He's not in my position because he's a 32-year-old man who loves to have hold his brother by his coat tails, so don't tell me to suck up what I'm feeling about a family being a four hour drive that I rarely see (I haven't seen or heard from them in a year). When our phone went off so did my family's and the last time we went to New Orleans, the house they lived in looked empty. My husband is always trying to find ways to make me happy but what I want to do never seems to be on the agenda. I mean, if you really want to make me happy, let's get some money, hop on a Greyhound, get a motel or hotel room, and head to New Orleans to visit my family or save enough money to get removal surgery to get rid of these keloids but too many financial problems stand in our way, with what seems like no way out whatsoever.

I talk to my husband about what's bothering me, I talk to my online friends about what's bugging me, I write to combat my depression. We can't even afford counseling or life coaching help but I turn to whoever is willing to listen or turn to myself to heal my own wounds.

Well, FlyBy, keloids is scar tissue that gets bigger and look like bumps behind the ears; it's more common in black or darker skinned people moreso than white people. Since 2005, my keloids have grown in size and the only way to get rid of them is through steroid injections or to have them removed through surgery. I can't afford neither but these are really affecting me and my outlook on life. Thanks for your input, though but I think you'd think differently if you saw me, though.

My Dimples, hola!

I understand what you mean.  Four years ago I came to this country because of 2 reasons:  I had some many illussions set on a realtionship (that finally went to hell, sorry about that!) and because I was tired of the life I was living, I felt that I was needing  big changes in my life. So, I somehow understand what is like to be far away form your family, from your homeand.  But just one tip:  Try to kow more about the place you are iving now, explore options, places.  Try to enjoy the city's possibiities.  And talk seriously with your husband about your keloids.  You look beautiful anyway, but if you want to feel better yet, set a goal with your husband..maybe you dont have the money for the removal surgery, but Im sure that if both of you works together in that the solutions are going to appear soon: help from the hospital, tight the budget and maybe an extra job that can provide a little extra income...I dont know,..but what I want to let you now is that things are never that dark as sometimes we see them.  "Start doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible." St. francis of Assisi

Thank you so much, Mechy! I'm glad that someone can see what I was saying about being homesick and your words about the keloids offer me some inspiration. I just might take up another job to get the removal surgery. Thanks again, Mechy!

Hello,

Just wanted to let you know I understand the keloids.  I have had them since I was in Middle School (about 13 or 14 years old).  I have a large one on my chest right under my collar bone (the result of straching the chicken pox).  It is exposed in almost everything I wear.  My mother had them removed and they came back.   I have had the injections, use ointments, you name it.  My mother hated them more than I did. But I learned to live with them. At the age of 19 I decided to get my ears pierced (doesn't make sense does it).  Guess what?  Yep Keliods on both ears, two holes.  They were good for awhile then they started to grow. Then, I got a tatoo on my hand, my left hand the one I use to write.  I was blessed with the tat no keliods but I had to have my ears done about 5 years ago.   Now I am 33 years old and I can't go a day without answering the question "What happen there?"  "Who cut you?"  So we (my husband and I) have to explain the story.  I have started to look at it as educational for those who don't know.  I just want you to know that you can still have confidence and be you even with the keloids.  My Pastor asked my one day how I could be so outgoing and confident with the scar ( I wear open and low cut items all the time).  I told him that I have keloids they don't have me.  I hope this helps. 

Like others who actually deal with depression I try to do things to take my mind off it and think positive thoughts. It is an ongoing struggle though and it doesn't help to hear comments from other people who do not live with clinical depression that I just need to start thinking differently and make everything so black and white. I saw the email and I thought great some support and for the most part it is but there are a few comments by people that are not helpful at all. So rather than feeling like I am getting support now I feel even worse before. 

I'll just add that the less I read about it the better I am. When I go looking for more information or support I usually become more depressed because of the labels and total lack of understanding from other people. I actually stopped reading about dealing with mental illness because I got depressed reading about how I am so screwed up and messed in the head and there's something wrong with me. As my mom said, I'd be better off not reading about it. I wish I didn't click on the link in the email after reading a couple of these comments. 

Laura,

There are 3 stages of depression (mild, moderate, and Major/clinical)  and the first two happen to most people at some point in their lives; when life becomes overwhelming or we lose someone close to us. Mild and moderate depression, though frightening and painful, are not a life long, or life threatening illness like Major/clinical depression or Bi-Polar depression can be.

Severe depression doesn't just come and go. One of my doctors told me that mild or moderate depression are like sniffles or a cold. Major/clinical depression is like walking pneumonia. If it's not diagnosed and treated it can kill you.

Perhaps we can find others like ourselves that can support the kind of depression we are experiencing. Positive thoughts do help ... they don't cure ... it's a debilitating illness. We also can't expect those who don't have the "ears to hear" our cry for help. Bless them and dismiss them. They have issues they need to work on. I really think we can find some really supportive people that will help and inspire us where we are NOW, and Tools is a rare gift if we use it ... so please don't give up-!!

Being bi-polar, depression has been a huge part of my life. What I do to combat it is: take my medication, I've got a ton of positive affirmations posted all over my apartment, I surround my self with positive people (even if that means being lonely sometimes). I do whatever is in my power to make myself happy. IF I'm not happy about something, I change it. Sometimes everyone has a bad day or two, and when that happens, I sit in my room and cry, and tomorrow will be better.

I wrote a bit about this in my personal profile in past history.  There came a time when I was so depressed that I stopped caring about myself, my looks, my hygiene, the way I dressed, I let myself go and I was a mess.

I was in a relationship and it was not going as I had wanted it to and maybe sub conciously by punishing myself, I thought I was punishing my partner for not being the way I wanted.  He was frustrated and in turn so was I, vicious circle, unending.  I did end things eventually in 2000, but not before doing damage to us both.

Our son was just 4 yrs old and unable to understand why mommy was crying all the time and yelling at daddy.  Things had to change and I had to change them.

It took me 4 more years to yank myself out of that and to move to CA where I found a measure of happiness and started taking good care of myself again, then disaster, a bike accident, I lost my job and had to be in rehab for a long time.  I could not afford to stay in CA and had to move home.

I now am home among family but not completely happy, I am homesick for CA, but I am NOT any longer depressed!  You see, I found a center, I found myself!  I found my writing career, I rediscovered my love of sub teaching.  I found TOOLS!  I am taking care of myself by working out and committing to using the Tools that I have learned to help not only myself, but others just starting.

There is hope and a light in that dark tunnel of depression, fight to get there and love yourself most of all.   Micci

Depression has had it's way with me at many different times of my life, even as a kid, when I didn't understand what it was.  I am actually fighting it off right now, as I have recently lost my job and my marriage is not doing so hot. 

Several year ago I started taking some meds, with mixed results.  I'm currently on 100 mg of Zoloft, but only because of my circumstances.  I look forward to getting off of them after my career situation improves.

Other than that, I run (marathons).  And I use Tools.  I still have bad days, but they are fewer and farther between.

Wow, what a topic-!! Your answers show the deep feelings this subject brings up. I want to Blog about it more with other "Tool"ies that have or do suffer from depression.

I was born into a family that has a history of clinical and suicidal depression. My mother died in a hospital after trying to take her life, my father died of alcohol and depression before he was 65 and my brother shot himself after a two year struggle with acute depression at 58. I'm told that undiagnosed I might have died before I was  50.  A sister suffers from the disease and one of her daughters has attempted suicide. I was diagnosed 11 years ago of Major/clinical depression, acute, severe, and recurrent plus some PTS to make it a little more interesting.

After what looked like a fairy tale life of success, I too had attempted suicide and lost everything ... and almost lost my life. Good news while I was "fairy tailing" it around, I became a vegetarian, studied and practiced yoga, and learned to meditate ... all these disciplines helped to balance the stress and need for seratonin in my brain. After all it was the 60's ... it was the thing TO DO.

What I am learning in Tools to Life is to accept the challenge of my illness, not to listen to others and believe that I can never work again, that I'm "nuts", crazy or different. I'm learning I can treat my life with it's dis-ease like I treated my career, my business, and most of my life. I can listen to my inner voice and get much better advise about how to live with my illness.

Using the Tools we've been given we can create a new life, a successful life that will be productive and meaningful.


I'm ready to DO IT-!! I'm asking for your support ... your experiences and how Tools is helping you day to day.

Onward in Joy,

so2u,
aka Susan

Depression and self absorbtion, has effected my life in every aspect: Health, finanacial, and relationships. There appears to be a genetic propensity compounded by early abuse, toleration of negative relationships, negative self talk, harmonal imbalances after pregnancy and physical weakness.

Health:Lack of self- care led to obesity and poor hygeine  Especially when my first disc disentegrated and it was so pain ful it was a struggle to move.  I could barely drive by myself, and was always fighting to keep myself from suicidal thoughts.  I had to go on medication which has physcial side effects, and some of which turned me into a zombie.  (They have better medicine now. )  I just didn't feel like doing anything, and consistency, and even self honesty was out of the picture.  I belileve it impeded my developmental growth.  It effects memory, weakens the immune system and I always felt sick, head achy, gassy, and mindless.

Financially: IT took so long for me to even take role the children acted out and I couldn't focus to express a lesson, therfore ultimately taking a leave of absence.  Unable to sustain the energy to work full time, I work part time. I became more and more lazy, easy to give up, and at one point hallucinated that the whole world was talking evil of me, or didn't even see me and know I existed.  Try to work fighting those thougths! 

Relationships: People are frightened, they lost confidence in my judgement, and it does effect judgement.  I have become wise to limit my contacts and have become distrustful of openly sharing.   I lost career, friends, and even close relatives relationships.  I became a burden instead of a blesing at times.  Even my grown children lost their respect and confidence in me. I was unable to express my hospitality and was easily offended.  I could easily talk myself out of keeping promises to meet with people, canceling and staying on the couch doing nothing.  My housekeeping skills slipped and I became unable to function effectively, even forgetting to put the garbage out on time, there fore paying for services I didn't even recieve. 

Attitude:  At frist everything was negative.  AS I have moved closer to become an overcomer, I have more compassion for the needy, ill, and those I have perceived as lazy. 

I believe each person owes themselves and others to fight depression and seek healing.  Tai Chi has helped me more than Yoga.  Other peopes kindness, and admission of my need for time to spend with loving people in relaxed environments has also helped.  I recive a lot of joy singing praises to God and having faith that He has the world in his hand and I am greatly loved by Him, but am very small.  He is great, I am small and can only do small things.  But those small thigs are important even if it is just brushing my own teeth. 

I am very thankful to find tools, and for the people who spread good news of the freedom we all have in a loving God just to be beyond our pain.  We don't have to do anything to have value. 

Wll I am rambling... I just pray for continued healing for each person who reads this and is battleing with depression.  May you become an overcomer with the truth that you are loved and significant being...no less or no moreimportant than anybody else in the bigger picture of life.

NO MATTER WHAT

I believe depression is the result of not letting go of the past.

AMEN

I think we all have the answer to, the reasons why we suffer from depression or any illness, deep within ourselves. Sometimes it require a lot of work, changing the patterns, that brought us there. The more serious the illness the more resistance to change. We have to reprogram, sometimes a matter of adapting or dying. I think it helps to see the bigger picture. What I found most helpful in my life is Eckhart Tolle, raw food, Louise Hayes, yoga. Whatever helps you, don't stop looking till you find it, eventually it's about finding the answers within, but whatever can point you in the right direction is good, there is no one answer, it is whatever works for you. With me, I had been doing a lot of great things that where really helpful, but I think when I read Eckhart Tolle, all the knowledge I had been gaining became more real, on a deeper level. One thing is to understand things on a intellectual level, my challenge was to get out of my brain and into my life. I think especially when you are depressed your thoughts have taken over, so you need to take measures to get back to life, and change the patterns that is not helpful in your life. Eventually, when we get down to the core of things, it is about forgiveness and letting go. Of course eating the right diet,  personal work, therapy will help us, but we can't get around forgiveness. To forgive others and ourselves, and to learn to live in the present moment. I think Eckhart have a good way of explaning how to get there, where to start, point in the right direction, but we always have to do the work ourselves, there is no quick fix. Healing can take place in a moment, but it is our resistance, and the symptoms, that takes time and work. But when we make that shift, the sky is the limit, endless possibilities, endless happiness. I belive we can all be happy, I wish everybody endless happiness. Let's just decide right now that we deserve endless happiness.:-)

First we need to let people know there is no shame in depression, and that secondly getting help is the best thing that one can do for themselves and others.

There are two reasons for depression. The first is situational and the second is clinical.

It doesn't really matter which one it is as far as how I and the people around me suffer.  Depression can wipe out family, health, finances, career and everything in between. It does matter how one deals with it.

I experience both kinds.  At an early age I was diganosed with Major Depression Recurrent, which means I have a chemical imballance, much like a Bi-Polar person except I do not have the highs.  Also, I have situations in my life that can cause depression.  So for me the first thing I have to do is figure out which one it is and go from there.

For me situational depression is usually anger turned inward. I didn't or I did do something in a situation that didn't end on a happy note.  The first thing I have to do in this case is forgive myself and realize that if I could of done better I would have.  Sometimes this requires help from an outside source like talking to a friend, a loved one or a theripist.

Clinical depression is completely different, it hits usually without warning.  I see a Psychitrist on a regular basis which means I follow directions.  I take medications as perscribed and anything else that is needed, this includes putting myself in the hospital if I have suicidal ideations.

Both take honesty, a willingness to do what is necessary and gratitude for the loving support system that I have.

I recently have had the clinical type which has kept me from doing Tool To Life and many other things that I enjoy.  It appears I have once again come out the other side for which I am greatful.

I no longer feel shame only compassion.  I am a human being living the life I have and taking it one day at a time and doing the best I can each and every day.

I HAVE BEEN IN MANY OF THESE PEOPLES SHOES. I WITNESSED A MURDER AND IT AMONG OTHER THINGS MADE ME END UP HOSPITALISED AND 12 SHOCK TREATMENTS ALL I CAN SAY IS EACH ONE OF US IS DIFFERENT AND DONT BE LIKE ME AND WAIT TOO LATE FOR HELP. I AM PROUD TO SAYTHIS WAS OVER 30 YEARS AGO. I HAVE HAD MANY A GOOD DAY, MANY FOND MEMORIES AND AM NOW AT PEACE. MAY GOD BLESS

I had always been an upbeat, positive person until my car accident.  I felt as though everything that I loved or loved to do had been stripped away from me.  There were two incomes lessened to just one so my husband pulled over 900 overtime hours in just one year to make ends meet.  When I would hear him complain about the house or bills, I would sink deeper into my depression.  There were so many times I've thought about how much easier it would be for him if I was just not in this world any longer.  I was a burden.  An enormous burden, my self thoughts.  The pain was unbearable at times and I was tired of suffering. And this was two and half years later with little relief and no signs of being able to return to normal activities or work.

I fought to get better physically and emotionally.  When I found TTL, it changed my life completely.  I regained control and the couch potato lady was disappearing.  The guilt I felt had began to melt away. My weight I had gained was coming off and I had something to look forward to even if it was completing most of the items on my "to do list."  The checklistand daily lessons from coach gave me something to look forward to....some direction.

It's been four years since my accident and I still battle depression but I am loving life and the goals I've set for myself.  I manage the pain on the best level I can and I give myself permission to relax even when there is somthing in the house that needs to be done.  

It's wonderful to give it all a voice and make choices about the day thent the next. 

Although there is a great situation for being depressed I fill my trust that God well make a way, open a door some how, however he wishes to Hes got all in control He will never permit more than we can handle so trust press foward in faith and God Bless.