I set her free

 After 17.5 years of parenting my daily existance took a huge turn this past summer. My bright and brilliant daughter moved out on her own. I was not ready for that because I felt it would be best for her to at least finish grade 12 before she moved out and had to worry about such things as supporting herself and all that goes with it - however, she felt differently. So here I am living alone for the first time in 17.5 years, with my dog and my cat, in a tiny cabin overlooking the ocean. It's so quiet. It's so weird. I don't cook much, and my house usually says pretty tidy - I don't have to pick up after a bunch of wacky teenagers. It's all so foreign to me. A strange life I seem to have left behind such a long time ago. One of the most important things that I have learned as a parent is that you have to work with the kid you've got. You have to work with what is in front of you. You can't wish your kid would do this or do that, or be this or that - they have their own lives to fulfill, and at a certain point, your input is not really all that welcome. You can lay it out for them all you like, you can guide them as best as you can - but that does not mean they will follow you or your advice, or your example for living well. You have to respect the child in front of you - even if you don't support some of the choices that they make. It's thier life. It's thier right to grow and learn. It's their right to make mistakes (and hopefully grow as a result ;o) And so when my daughter moved out I could have kicked and screamed and fussed - but I didn't. I set her free. I trusted that she would do well and make good choices - and so far she has. She's still in school, she works part time, and she is finding her way as she begins her journey down the path of her own life (sniff). And, I am only a phone call away at any time :o)

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Tags: parenting