Day 1

Let's see I actually log in to this site on April 24, 2007. Did a little to my profile, then log out. The reason for that it was already late at night, and I didn't want to get into a detailed thing ya know? So I was going through my regular email, and kept seeing the emails from here telling me to come back and get started. Well you can see how long took me to do. Ya see, I not very detailed or organized right now, and haven't been for 2 years now. I am in a depression, a very deep depression, involving my life, my marriage, and my work/finances. Jeez low and behold, I keep seeing those emails, and last night late once again. You can see I a night person, for I have nothing to get up too, at least for now. So regarding last night, I did a little more on my profile, played a few games, and then went to bed. Going to bed for me is ususally between 1 to 3 am, see I told you it's late. Now you are probably thinking about her husband. Well, he is in the same RUT as I am in. So you can see and read no help in this house hold, at least for me! That is why I decided to come back today, and actually get started on Day 1. Now, it is a Friday, I'm by myself and have been all day, for Friday's Eddie has to go to the Bay Area for his court appointed classes for DV that put down to Anger Management. For this is the truth, it only happen once, and that is only because him and I both lost our one and only last surviving parent, both were our MOM's. Both in the same year, and w/i just 6 months time. That year and since then our WHOLE lifes have turn upside down, and inside out!!!!! But we are still alive, and still very much in LOVE with one another. We only have one another now, and that is it!!!!! Wow, I can't believe how I have open up, so here I am just completed DAY 1. My checklist is to start setting my alarm clock, and that is a VERY TRULY good start for me and for Eddie, so I might as well bring him along w/ this. But I will work on ME for now. Getting up and actually looking for a job will make me feel so what better, for I not looking forward to all the let downs. But it will be a good thing for me, for if I get up like say 800AM, then I will be getting tired and may go to sleep earlier too, ya know? I don't sleep well at all, but that is another blog all in itself. Right now, for 3 years now I have to take Tyenol PM to just relax me, to go to sleep. Just this last week I had to start uping the dose of 2 to 3 now per night. I guess my body is to used to taking just 2 pills a night now. But as I said this will start getting me back on track, for it is ACTUALLY starting me off perfectly, see it is teaching me how to get up and OUT OF THAT BED, my pity/death bed. YES, I am ready for this. The only thing I need is to have someone answer me back regarding the INTRO section, for I thought I could cut and past like myspace and friendster, but I can't I guess, so I have to delete what I put, and it won't let me, or I need to learn how.

Now, regarding my alarm clock, since this is a Friday night, and then the weekend. I won't be starting my alarm clock until, and my day two until this coming Monday morning. I wish myself luck and I will start praying to God for this to start helping me too.  TTYL

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