My life is not an easy thing to explain, nor is it overly complex. Im a 32 year old single man. I am in the road construction business and spend about 70 percent of my time away from home. while i am working the hours are long and strenuous and it pretty much becomes my single focus. I am typically a happy individual but I have found that when I now return home i am completely lacking in direction and ambition. I have lost contact with the majority of my long term friends, and no longer find myself partaking in activities with the same vigor and appreciation that I did in the past. To view my life from the outside it would appear to be a fun-filled and adventurous endeavor (which in reality it truly is). Yet I still find it to be lacking. My relationships with women seem to have become nothing more than the fulfilment of a physical desire and provide almost no mental or emotional stimulation.  My mental state is currently so stagnent and starved for stimulation that I cant even figure out where to start, and I am also  desperately longing for some sort of new physical boost to shock my system back to life . with all that said I do still have the fortune to live a great life. The people I choose to surround myself with are both caring and active, and help to allow me to enjoy a fairly fulfilling life.  But fairly fulfilling doesnt cut it any more.  It's time for a change!

The Future, My Future.

What does it hold?

To be specific, I have absolutely no idea!

there are things I want to do, I want to go back to school. I dont know when or for what (but with time I think I should be able to figure that out). I want to learn to fight, not the kind of fight you see outside the bar at 2am but the kind you see in a cage. It's something i've though about doing since I was 15 years old but never had the balls to do. I figure Im not getting any younger so it's now or never (besides getting punched in the face might knock some sense into me). I want to spend alot more time on my skis and on my moto, and a whole lot less time working, and I generally just want to figure out what my purpose in this world is. I dont think I would have made it this far to do what im doing now, so it has to be something better!

A good relationship wouldn't hurt my feelings either, but I think I need to figure my own shit out before I take on anyone elses.