I met a girl that absolutely changed my life. She was beautiful, intelligent, witty, caring, basically she was my "one". We dated, got engaged and broke up. 2 years later we were back together. We got married, bought a house, did the whole grown up thing. She began to drink more than just socially. The drinking bothered me as I grew up in an alcoholic household. Her drinking got to the point that she didn't come home one night. Turns out she ran into an old high school boyfriend, yep, you guessed it, she cheated on me. If it wasn't for the fact she'd gotten pregnant, I probably wouldn't have ever found out. She told me over the phone that she was pregnant, I put 2 & 2 together. I forgave her for everything and got excited about the forthcoming child. I stuck it out through the pregnancy, the birth and the first 3 months of my son's life. I began working out of town and started to re think everything I had done in the last 16 months. I told her I needed a little time to clear my head, process all that had happened and figure out the path I would follow next. She took it to the extreme and said we were done. WOW! Kick to the stomach #2 for me. Now I wonder if I'd done the right thing? Should I have just sucked it up and dealt with my feelings later? I only know this, I love her, and my son. I miss them both terribly. In spite of all the shit she's put me through, it's like I'm addicted to her, like she's a drug that I can't kick. I have no idea what to do. I've turned to friends for advice and comfort, now I'm coming back to Tools to help me get through this.

Raised in a small town in Central California. I had a pretty good childhood, never wanted for anything that I needed. Great mother, great step-father when he wasn't drinking. My dad lived out of state, I only saw him in the summer, and to be honest, I didn't miss him when I wasn't there. 

I played baseball, excelled in school, the normal stuff. About age 12 I discovered punk rock, this would be a huge change for me. I found a sense of belonging in the punk lifestyle, the music, the "fuck it" attitude, it all seemed so natural to me. I don't regret that. I do regret not finishing my education. I married young, had 2 wonderful daughters whom I adore, I'm soon to be a grandfather, yes that excites me.

I have no idea what 2011 and beyond have in store for me, but I can tell you this, I will implement, orchestrate and control the change that's coming my way. Come Hell or high water!