Dearest Boxers in the Tool Shed,
Yesterday, I woke up with a raging headache- one of those that feels like a football helmet is glued to your head- ever had something like that? It was pounding clear down my neck into my shoulders.
I was able to get in to my massage therapist, she worked on me a bit then told me what was causing the pain in both shoulders: Guilt and Resentment. GERRRR...carrying the weight of guilt and resentment is a pretty hefty burden.
When I got home, I wrote out what I thought I was feeling guilty about, and what I thought might be the cause of resentment. As I studied these, I realized they were of my own creation, and if I created them surely I could release them, also! It was hard, but I had to own them. Couldn't blame anyone else. Especially that resentment stuff.
I went through each item, and wrote out why it was a waste of my time to carry it, and I wrote out that it would be released now, tonight in my sleep, and that I'd wake up without these heavy burdens that I'd created. All of this was hand-written. There's something very affirmative in the action of hand-writing something.
I woke up this morning feeling much lighter! I did my 'Checker Routine", and have a great day to look forward to!
I know there's a day in the tool box to do this exercise. Because I didn't THINK it applied to ME, I sorta sluffed through it. And, as always, Plane Jane has to learn things the hard way. I cannot emphasize to you Boxers how important the exercises are to do on the DAY that they are assigned. Yes, you may think (like I did) that 'well, this isn't really applicable to my life right now' - EVENTUALLY, it will be. This is why Coach has included them in the program! If you don't do them NOW, you'll have to do what I did and just go back and do it anyway.
Just as we create a "Great Day", we also create all the other junk, too. I don't know about you, but I feel a heck of a lot better without the junk bogging me down!
Flying high, making it a GREAT day in JaneLand!
comments
hmm.
guilt and resentment have a way of creeping up on one, don't they? I am gradually trying to heal my relationship with my ex, but it's difficult - he takes it too far and seems to think this means we can get back to where we were....it's not going to happen but every tentative step I make towards being friendly results inan overflow of stuff from him. So then I get MORE guilt and resentment! ;-)
Good luck with your dumping. It sounds like you are heading into a healthier dawn.
BODY OF EVIDENCE ....
What a coincidence, Angel! I was off Tools for more than a week for some minor issues (health and emotional baggage). As I was just about to say, things (in particular - mind and/or emotions) have to somehow flow; and not obstructed. Otherwise, it's going to get bottled up inside. And as we all know, these pent-up feelings always cause a chain reaction. From the inside through to the outside. And it could be in form of stresses and are experienced in different forms of aches and pain (head, stomach, muscle, etc.). And the heavier we feel about that stress, the stronger the pain becomes ... (just like that feeling of a glued helmet). To that effect, I think you are so right. If we created them, we could then be freed from it by releasing it ourselves.
A note to that. I used to be the type of person who seldom or never say "I love you" before. Same thing as the word "I'm sorry" (it definitely was a foreign phrase). I never said "I forgive you". Occasionally, I would say "God bless you". Anyway, all these phrases were like spring pollens that I was allergic to. I had always been a person who always carries a gratitude attitude with me all the time. Except I didn't say those "essential" lines as needed. I always had my own indirect way of showing it - through smiles, good deeds, and other means of appreciation. Then I finally realized that things are better "left said than not" (as is the opposite of the traditional "better left unsaid"). Oh, one more to add which is one of the most important of all ... "I'm sorry". This last one has the most profound effect (as I found out in a lot of occasion). It's really amazing how simple words could change our days (for the better). I'm speaking through so many experiences I dealt with. They're only few of those magical words that make (instead of break) our day. And it does leave a soothing feeling after (a good form of release). It could be in form of a note or, better still, in person. I find the latter very effective.
Whoops, I went too far. I was also about to say that during that week off, I came across a story of a high-strung hippie turned super spiritual woman; who finally succumbed to paralysis. For a decade before her confinement at home, she managed to "redeem" herself of a lifetime quest that she found solace of through "spiritual journey and awakening". To make the story short, she found means of justifying why each one of us gets riddled with different illnesses and impairment. An example of which is, if one suffers strong arthritic pain in the knees, it just means that the person has to realize that he has to stop stooping (kneeling) down to anybody else's authority and/or dominance towards him. So, when this woman got subjected to paralysis, she believed that it was high time for her to stop giving herself unconditionally (as she did believe that a lot of her "followers" had been stabbing her behind her back). She realized that it was but time for her to give in to this condition. In short, whatever we feel discomfort about (be it an illness or disability), such has corresponding reasons for that discomfort to be there so. Did it make sense ... or was it confusing enough? Anyway, it could sound a bit complicated; but I partly believe it.
Whosh, I can't believe I went over it. I said it anyway because I always wanted to impart few things in relation (hopefully) to what you've just felt before ... and the difference it made you after you've released them. That is a great way of dealing with it. Oh, aren't you a darling angel!
On a less sombre note, keep clapping, splashing, brushing, smiling (I am, right now). Keep on sharing .... BLOGGIT! And keep those wings flapping. Whoohoo, way to go! Have a great day, AZA!
Cheers,
Autumn Mist
I can relate
Hi AZ,
I've been "blessed" with horrid migraines for years. I always knew there was a stress related factor - 1. lots of stress 2. end of stress 3. migraine. Recently I started keeping food journals to see if there is a correlation with types of food. I gave up wine, beer, alcohol a long time ago - the headaches that followed even after one drink just wasn't worth it, but I never thought to tie it into guilt or resentment. I'm going to include that in my journaling. It would be good to let go of any of that stuff anyway, and if it gets rid od the migraines too - Hurray!
:) thats a good push
hej Jane,
i missed your blog. Oh, no - Tools is turning me into an internet-addict! ;)
I am glad that you sorted your stuff out before it could do serious damage to your shoulders. :)
Your message really gave me good push just as i needed it. :) thanks.
i hope you have a great day in janeland just right now. Happy Music, pancakes, dancing and massaged shoulders (not to treat pain, just to enjoy :) and many smiles :D