Certificates:
Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 08/02/07
Last Login: 11/12/10
Viewed: 31466
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 19
Member Since: 08/02/07
Last Login: 11/12/10
Viewed: 31466
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 19
Barbie's Challenges:
Barbie's Participating:
Barbie's Participating:
| Get Organized, get a plan |
| Read More Books |
| house cleaning |
Personal Interests:
Music:
Books:
Favorite Places:
I Want To See:
Hobbies:
Activities:
Sports:
Movies:
TV:
Heroes:
I Want To Meet:
Barbie's Life List:
| Overrall organization..no clutters |
| Want to lose 60 pounds. |
| Want to be active with lots of energy. |
| Want to finish to the end with my tools to life. |
| Want to stop fighting and yelling at my family. |
comments
says:
Hi Barbie,
You are only in day one, so give yourself a break and don't beat up on yourself. You are going to get some tools as you progress which will help you with weight. Till then just relax, do the course day my day and the results will follow.
Let me ask you a question. Did getting angry with yourself help you in any way? Probably not right.
Just love on yourself. Don't get mad, do the next day of Tools.
As far as having a friend to share things with, I'm here if you need me.
Stick with Tools and you can work on the Shyness too, if that's what you want to do.
Stick with it and you will be amazed.
I know, I've done the whole thing!!
Nickg
says:
Hi Nickg,
Your right on the part that being angry does not solve anything or help me out. But it just that I am always stress out having a 9yr old son with ADHD and speech delayed.
I try to love myself but everything turns out wrong in what I do. But TODAY I did something different I shouted loud that today was going to be a great day no matter the obstacles.. so far it has been better.
Thanks for the advice hope to hear from you often. need the pep talk its not easy doing it alone.
Barbie
says:
Barbie,
I've been in that "dark hole" where you seem to be right now. I'm here to tell you, IT DOES GET BETTER.
14 years ago I left a very abusive relationship and went for counselling for over 2 years. This was very very helpful for me. I'm going to share two things with you that my counsellor taught me:
1 - look in the mirror every day and tell yourself that you are wonderful and that you love yourself. This will probably be very hard in the beginning (I certainly didn't love myself when I had to start doing this! I was so mad at myself for staying in an abusive relationship, I hated myself for what I had "let" him do to me, etc.) It's easier to start if you look at parts of yourself that you already like! (It's a little cheat sheet I learned ... but it breaks the ice and gets the ball rolling!!!) ... do you really like your hair? your eyes? your lips? Trust me, there is something about yourself that is so awesome that even YOU like it ... start with that ... get up in the morning and say wow ... look at those great eyes / hair, etc. The next day, you have to do two things, then three things, then four ... It's not alway easy, but after three months, I was able to look at myself and realize that I was no longer mad at myself ... I had been in a very bad relationship, and while I was a victim at the time, I was no longer a victim, and NO ONE was going to make me a victim again ... why? BECAUSE I FINALLY LOVED MYSELF
2 - when we are trying to accomplish things, we usually forget to see the little steps of positive that go along with reaching the "big goal" ... i. e. losing 10 pounds ... we focus on the number 10 instead of 1/2 a pound one day, 2 pounds over the weekend, 1 pound on Monday, etc ... Rejoice in those small steps ... that is what helps us keep going to achieve the big goal ... I went to University at night while I worked full time, ran a shelter for ferrets, trained my dog, and bought a parrot (what the heck was I thinking?? LOL)
I started to realize that I would be in school forever and one semester I was really down when I realized I would actually be in school for 9 years before I was finished my masters.
I talked to a friend of mine about this, and she laughed with me, b/c she had done the same thing ... BUT, she gave me a great idea ... I went to the dollar store and bought a great big piece of bristol board and pinned it up on my wall in my living room. I put a box for every single class that I would need to take to reach my Bachelor's then drew a big black line ... but boxes for my honors, big line then boxes for my masters. Every time I finished a course I wrote it in one of the blank boxes ... By the end of 9 years, that piece of bristol board was in rough shape ... but I had done it, one box at a time ...
You could try this out with your son ... help him find the pleasure in small steps that he accomplishes prior to the big goal ... and of course, with yourself. (I do not have children, and know absolutely nothing about raising children, so if I am way off base here I apologise! My degrees are in Criminology, Psychology and Sociology ... and certificates in animal behaviour and psychology ... nothing with children!!!!
I hope I've been able to give you a little pep talk this morning, and that you will be able to have a wonderful day. Remember ... you deserve to be happy!
Marion
says:
Wow I feel blessed today to wake up in the morning and recieved such wonderful pep talk.
Thanks alot for the two advice on loving myself little by little.I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and studied myself to see what I love about my self today I am gonna start off with my eyes..they a hazel between green and brown I notice them today.although I do not see out of my left eye but it looks good too.
The second advice I applied it with my son telling him how good he is behaving today and that he brushed his teeth also took his meds without me fussing over it.
I am gonna get a board in it I am going to put down all his and my obligation when done put a star on the box..at the end of the week on the weekend rewards are cashed in..what do you think will it work??? Dont worry sometimes advice given by people who do not have kids are good ones to cause you have different type of life experiences..
Barbie
says:
Barbie,
I think the reward system is a great idea. I used to be a counsellor for inmates on parole, and I used to have them to the same thing. Once you've accomplished something reward yourself ... an idea ... come to an agreement with your child about what the reward is (it will be better if he comes up with the idea on his own ... his "dream") and it will give him something to look forward to ... motivation!!! That always helps a child ... and you can give him gentle reminders ... if you don't do this, then you won't get your reward this week.
Depending on your child too, you might want to have little rewards throughout the week. For example, if you read to him at night, his reward could be an "extra" bed time story of his choice. Or he could have that "one" extra cookie as a snack. It's very important that he realize WHY he is getting the reward, not just because you're a good mommy! But because he's such a wonderful little boy!
You sound like you've got lots of great ideas for you and your son! Good for you, the most important thing with all of this: HAVE FUN WITH IT!
Take care and have a great day!
Marion