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Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 04/01/08
Last Login: 06/29/08
Viewed: 16989
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 43
Member Since: 04/01/08
Last Login: 06/29/08
Viewed: 16989
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 43
Personal Interests:
Music:
Mozart, Bach, Beethovan, Bob Schneider, Sting, Sarah McLaughlan, Barenaked Ladies, A-ha, Kajagoogoo, Boyz II Men, Corinne Bailey Rae, Elvis Costello, Diana Krall, The Doobie Brothers, Eric Clapton, Rick James, Chumbawamba, K.D. Lange, Sir Mix-a-lot, Black-eyed Peas, Josh Groban, Andrea Bocelli....well, almost everything!
Books:
I have over 400 books on my Audible library, and I can't pass a bookstore without spending at least $100.00!
Let's see:
History, Politics, Economics, Humour (lots), Thrillers, (I loved "The Devil in the White City")!
I read lots of non-fiction on spiritual growth..I own a Bible, a Koran, a Bhuddist Book of Prayer (did you know that Chinese have their own version of Gideons that leave copies of an English/Chinese translation of the Bhuddist "Bible" in their hotels?
Yes, I am doing the Oprah/Eckhardt Tolle thing right now.
I do grief counseling as a Hospice volunteer, so I keep my eyes open for relevent materials to read, learn and share with my clients.
I hound the "remaindered" book tables for exotic cookbooks, gardening books, Photography and Art books...(Did I mention my Grandfather founded a publishing company? Printer's Ink for blood, I guess.
Favorite Places:
I have been on a River Boat cruise down the Danube with my mother. We started in Munich (which I loved), all the way to Romania. I also took a trip to China for a month with my brother fifteen years ago. We were one of the first tour groups to come through two years after Tienamen Square. Some people were so friendly, while others were afraid of us. I was a social worker for pregnant and parenting teens at the time with the Salvation Army; I was just amazed that as poor as so many of the Chinese people were, among the millions of people we saw, I only once saw a child being treated roughly. Made me re-think some of my assumptions.
Also, I love New York, and I love San Francisco.
I Want To See:
Paris, Hawaii, Alaska, Ireland, Scotland and Wales. Oh, and Spain, and Peru, the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, The Black Hills, or, just sit in my easy chair and read a good book.
Hobbies:
I just bought a bicycle, and the nice salesman gave me a bike trail map of all the paved trails in the county. I garden, mat and frame pictures, I have an extensive glass studio where I do large pieces of warm glass art in my kiln such as glass sinks & bowls, special order table place ware, water fountains, & sculpted glass tiles. I make glass beads, and jewelry, although I've had to learn to be a little more careful with the torch with numb fingers!!!
I take Tai Chi twice a week.
..I sew, knit, crochet, spin wool, silk, angora, alpaca...
I started with 'spinning, and ended with 'spinning'!
Activities:
Now could somebody please explain the difference between 'activities' and 'hobbies'?
Well, I volunteer for hospice as a 'friendly visitor', 'caregiver relief', documentarian for 'My Life Story' projects, and I do 1:1 grief counseling. I love doing this! I always receive so much more than I give.
Sports:
Movies:
TV:
"The Daily Show", Keith Oberman, "The Pie Man", Dexter, Psychic, The Medium, Monk, House, Almost anything on the Science Channel or the Medical Channel
Heroes:
Dr. Tom Dooley
(a physician who dedicated his career to patients in Viet Nam, in the 1960's).
Anyone, anywhere who has had the courage to take the risk and become a "whistle blower" on corruption and dishonesty.
Everyday people who live their lives with grace, courage, honesty, forgiveness & humility. Tall order. But I meet these people all the time. Unsung heroes are all around us!
I Want To Meet:
comments
My heart reaches out to yours.
This must be so very difficult for you, watching someone you love in such distress. As I've learned, it's great to have the skills and the training. You get really good at advising others how to manage the bumps in their lives. When it comes to your own life, it somehow doesn't seem so easy. Hold on, Carla, all that experience, training, and love will still stand you in good stead.
No, you cannot gather strength for him. He must find his own way to the strength within him. No, you cannot insulate him against himself, but you can show him his choices. No, you cannot be a charcoal filter for his pain, but sometimes you can be a small mirror which catches its image and deflects it from him.
Your friend is right. He has you. That matters. You may not be able to gather light around him, but you can gather it around yourself and make it available for him to share. And, with the light, you can offer warmth and understanding. He knows you care. He can't help but know that. You care too much. That's really all you can do... just care with all of your heart. Just care. Just be there for him.
Take the best care of yourself and you will take the best care you possibly can of your husband.
My thoughts are with you and Jonathan.
Never give up.
As long as he breathes, Jonathan has the ability to change his situation. I guess the key is to think outside the square and expand beyond preconceived thoughts and judgements. Discover a different solution to the problem. Every problem has at least one solution floating out there in the ether ready to be harvested.
In times like this, a negative thought is a luxury. It's time to roll up the shirtsleeves and get cracking.
Hey twin...
I am reading your posting with alarm. Yes, caring for Jonathan is good, but it often isn't enough. My ex is a world renowned political scientist, with so many publications to his name, world respect, etc. But still he feels totoally inadequate. Nothing I could say or do could help with that - it was rooted so deep in his psyche that nothing I could do could cleanse it out.
It's not rational, and it is impossible to battle. The only way to escape this is for them to escape it on their own. I worry about you exhausting yourself trying to keep someone on the level who is waiting for you to do this, who will not take responsibility for his own happiness but who instead pushed to the brink, knowing he can rely on you to tow him back. It's exhausting to cope with and destroying for you...
You cannot heal him. You can cheer him, but he needs to get help on his own.
Take care of yourself, special girl. You are deserving of your own care.
Additional to what I've already said...
What Rexo said, and especially... what Dabble said.
"Take care of yourself, special girl. You are deserving of your own care."
Please, do take care of yourself. Dabble is right, absolutely.
You deserve a hug
I can understand what you are going through and I have to agree with Wordsmith and Dabble. You have to take care of yourself because you are deserving of your own care. I have learned that lesson and it was the hardest lesson to learn.