Love me, love me not

Yesterday I realised that I had not been shopping for clothes since January, which means that I had unconsciously given up a nasty habit.  

In 2005  I went through a really traumatic experience and came out the other  end of it all a binging shopaholic.  For the past four years I have shopped, on a weekly basis for clothes that I did not need with money that we did not have and rocketed my credit card balances to stratospheric heights .  We had to put rails up in the attic to accommodate my couture collection and the only arguments my darling hubby and have had over the past few years (bar one) have been all about my credit card balances.  What was driving this compulsion, I can only hazard a guess, but I am sure it was an attempt to  fill the massive, insatiable hole within, the hole that I try to fill with food and too many glasses of wine. 

Anyway, the realization that I had stopped shopping made me feel really good about myself, I gave myself 1000 pats on the back and felt so motivated for the rest of the day. For once I was not focusing on the “negatives” and managed to stay on this high for a day and half. I happily completed a number of tasks that have been on the “procrastination list” for too long and even went to a yoga class yesterday evening, despite the fact that I am only operating on one knee (the other got mauled in a fall in the snow). 

So I decided to start each day by listing my achievements and good attributes as this simple little act seems to give me the boost I need to get through the day.  I did fall off the happy wagon halfway through today  due to an unpleasant encounter with the insurance assessor re the bathroom, so I ended up eating half a carrot cake

Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I have to go and love myself. xxxxxxxxx

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