Making Blog Public

I was asked by some folks if I would make the blog public--I actually thought it was. In spite of my many years of using computers I am quite self taught and can be a complete techno-moron. I am a reasonably private person and don't care to share much of my personal information but generally don't mind sharing my thoughts--except for those times when I feel particularly guarded.

I do have bipolar disorder, as I mentioned before. I take lithium. It is the only medication I can tolerate. Antidepressants make me manic. Otherwise I only experience hypomania. I don't tolerate most medications well and was glad to finally find a doctor that was willing to listen to me and who takes a holistic approach rather than the "you are defective, you WILL take this medication" approach I've found with most doctors. I take thyroid medication and lithium. I cannot afford counseling and my insurance doesn't cover it so don't even ask. County mental health sucks butt. They are used to dealing with critical cases and are overwhelmed. My sense of humor is generally too much for them. They get this stoic shocked look on their faces when I make a wisecrack about something. They're doing the best they can, but they aren't a good solution for me.

I have a lot of extremely esoteric views but generally try to keep my psychological development seperate from my parapsychological development. However, improving one will improve the other.

Right now I am really vacillating between being very productive and hopeful and in the depths of despair. I miss the Old Dude. I liked the story from the person who said that sometimes when a child dies and has no relative to guide them to the afterlife, a cat or dog will come do so. I had never heard that before and think it is great.

An online friend also recently lost her 20 year old Siamese. Maybe my old dude and her old dude will meet and be buddies. I like to think so!

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Tags: me, pets, Loss, bipolar disorder, meds, mental health, counseling