“You can’t talk your way out of what you’ve behaved yourself into.”
-Stephen R. Covey
“Coffee House Talk”
By Devlyn Steele
Getting ready to take on the start of your day often begins with a stop by the coffeehouse. Ever stop and listen to what people are talking about? If you do, you’ll hear talk about what changes people want in their lives, or complaining about what isn’t changing. I’m sure you might fall into that trap now and then as well.
“I want to lose weight.”
”I want a better job.”
“I want to make more money.”
Maybe for you it’s travel, education, meeting someone or improving a current relationship. We all have changes we want that go unresolved. So we talk a lot about wanting them to change. How often does anyone really do anything about changing? In fact, after a while you’ll start hearing the wants turn to complaints. Then the complaints turn into reasons why success is not possible. “I don’t have the time or money or ability.” There are an endless number of reasons.
As a life coach, people are always telling me why they are stuck and why they can’t do certain things. “I don’t like to workout.” or “I’m too forgetful.” Basically what they’re telling me is, “I have no control over my own behavior.” Here’s one we have all heard from someone, “I’m not a morning person.”
What if I offered a “non-morning person” a million dollars to be a morning person tomorrow morning? Most people would say, “Well, for a million dollars I could be.” So in truth, it’s not that you are not a morning person, or that you don’t have the time or any of the other reasons you give that prevent you from the changes you want, you simply haven’t found the motivation.
With the right motivation, and it doesn’t have to be money, you can change and create winning actions in your life. You are not locked into any behavior. Stop placing limits on yourself and talking about the changes you want and the reasons you can’t achieve them. There is no definition of you other than the definition you give yourself.
We all have the power to redefine ourselves and create the lives we want. Let me show you how powerful you are. Take a sip of your coffee or tea and let me ask you this: Right now, could anything stop you from taking that sip? Oh, you don’t have a coffee or tea? Then get one or imagine you have one. Barring a sudden, catastrophic natural disaster, the answer is no, nothing can. The only thing that could stop you from taking a sip is…you!
In fact, nothing can stop you from going to the gym, eating right, getting an education, looking for a better job, paying attention to your relationships, not spending money on your credit cards or doing the things you should to make your life better. Nothing can stop you from anything you want to improve in your life except you. You are the only obstacle in your life.
We need to stop blaming outside factors for our behavior. We also have to stop looking for shortcuts. We tend to fall into the trap of wanting instant gratification and there are plenty of folks trying to sell this junk. I hate to be the one to tell you this but there are no magic pills that will make you thin, cure your life in seven days, get rich over night or have great abs in two weeks.
There is only one sure way to success and that’s doing the work. This means we must get into action. Get motivated to change right now! Motivation is power and we have established here that being powerful is as simple as taking a sip of coffee or tea.
So next time you stop by the coffeehouse get excited and decide to get into action to achieve the changes you want. Then enjoy your coffee or tea and smile while you take that sip, because you know that you are powerful.
Inspired by life changes he has personally guided and a passion for the Internet, Devlyn developed Tools To Life (toolstolife.com), the first and only free online guided self-help program that incorporates social networking to empower people wanting to change. With a growing number of users and thousands of life-changing testimonials, Tools To Life offers forums, support groups, blogs and more to stay in touch with people across the world who are overcoming depression, anxiety, obesity, eating disorders, addictions, relationship problems -- with real results. Tools To Life also empowers those who are looking to create success or improve in all areas of their life, including career and relationship.
comments
says:
Another great idea. It does feel peaceful, and empowering, to know I am not spending my energy and time complaining, feeling helpless, talking about reasons life isn't what I want and cannot be.
yep. I'm talking about plans, steps, goals, achievements, people I've supported and been supported by.
says: I agree with Wordbird. Talking about what you're doing to reach your goals helps build and maintain the motivation. It's how I went from "not being able to afford it" to beginning my MBA. I'm now a third of the way through, and I don't know when I would have started if a good friend hadn't challenged me by pointing out that I either needed to 1) find a program I could afford, or 2) re-look at the my finances, or 3) accept that my career and education had gone as far as they were going to. Overnight I went from identifying barriers to finding solutions. Now the trick is to duplicate this success in other areas of my life.