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Join Now Is Something Wrong With Me? by Dimples87
 
Dimples87
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Birth Date: Sun, May 17 1987

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New Orleans Louisiana, United States (map)

I am: Married

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Member Since: 01/16/07
Last Login: 03/26/12
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To get my G.E.D.
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Is Something Wrong With Me?

 

 

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Dimples87

  Dimples87

Sat, Jan 26 12:00 AM

Is Something Wrong With Me?

 

Timing is Everything to me for some reason; I’m strange (too strange)! I don’t know how to show my true self out of fear. Fear that people will move away from me when I do show my true colors. It’s happened before – what will stop it from happening again?

I don’t like to be monitored for what I did say, I don’t like to be lectured on how I say something, but I just want to be ME! Why can’t I just get it Right?! Why can’t I just articulate myself like I do online?

       Am I really that self-centered that I really need people to agree with me ALL the time? Am I really that shallow that I really need people to have the SAME likes & dislikes as me?

I didn’t open up and socialize with a majority of my immediate family members until I was sixteen years old – weeks or months away from my seventeenth birthday, and even that were out of fear. I know that everybody isn’t my family but I do need to come out of this but I just don’t know how. People might think I’m wishy-washy and I do understand that but these people don’t know me.

I started a new life with my husband five years ago. We met at seventeen, we got engaged at eighteen, married at nineteen, and it's been a few yrs since then. My husband has been trying to get me to come out of my shell with my in-laws but I don't know what to say or connect with them on their level because we don't share the same interests. In 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and we all moved to Houston and my sister-in-law had her baby in 2006 and the year after that a family friend had her son. My husband and I were trying to get pregnant but haven't succeeded due to personal health issues I've had. When Katrina hit, I didn't have any family members with me - I was all alone with my husband and his family & friends.I feel left out because my husband and I don't have our own kids and we rarely see his kids from previous relationships. The women talk about their kids but I have nothing to relate to except for when I babysit from time to time.My real problem here is my social status - how can I become more social? Is something wrong with me? Is there anyone else like me out there?

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