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Join Now Day 5: I'm baaaa-aaaack!! by Divalish
 
Divalish
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Birth Date: Mon, Apr 29 1974

Place of residence:
Brossard QC, Canada (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

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Member Since: 06/07/08
Last Login: 03/21/12
Viewed: 5533
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Program Progress: Day 7
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Divalish's Life List:
Open a creative arts centre for under-privileged kids with access to quality lessons
Retire financially independent at age 45
Reach my goal size (8 - 10)
Have a great relationship with a special person who gets me and accepts my quirks, loves/appreciates my finer points without taking advantage of either
Write an amazing collection of songs
Visit every continent (except the Arctic and Antarctica)
Win a Juno Award.
Walk a portion of the Great Wall of China
Create a number of successful businesses.
Make successful Real Estate Investments.
Create a non-profit international microlending charity/profiteer...
Obtain BComm in MIS.
Attain a consistent level of "Happy".
Become touring backup singer.
Own a house.
Bring my mother to see where Jesus walked.
Repay my mother.

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Day 5: I'm baaaa-aaaack!!

 

 

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Divalish

  Divalish

Sun, Sep 28 10:27 AM

Day 5: I'm baaaa-aaaack!!

 

I just got back a couple of weeks ago from a long overdue vacation to the Carribean and I feel so-so. I had no internet so it was more or less stress-free. No pressing deadlines, no errands to run, just me, my thoughts and the universe. 

 

I had a lot of time on my hands and as I am a compulsive list-maker, all I could think of was what needed to be done/cleaned/sold/ended/started/changed when I got home. Over the course of the 2 weeks since my return, I've done everything except for the 3 most important things on my list. 

 

1. A massive purge of my entire home (closets, un-used appliances,  etc.) sorting through all my STUFF in order to sell/donate things that are just taking up space...Clutter busting.

 

2.  Get my butt back on track at the gym.

 

3. See a psychologist in order to heal the past and accept that the future can be great. 

 

Now, my reasons for procrastinating on the first 2 points are blatantly obvious and related more to my love for sitting, eating, thinking and all other passive verbs. I can accept that and have set the baby-step goal to commence both tomorrow (Monday). I like doing new stuff on a Monday or Thursday - can't explain it!

 

However, #3 has me paralyzed with indecision. I've had a psychologist tell me that I'm the most normal, well-adjusted person he's met both in and out of his practice. Lovely. I've also had a psychiatrist listen for 5 minutes, write me a 'scrip for Prozac and excuse her self so she could "powder her nose"...literally.

 

On paper, it's easy. Head/heart trouble of the emotional variety, call a shrink. I have no faith in them, so why would I want to sign up for something I don't believe is going to work for me?

 

Now today's topic is the inner voice. I am realising that I have 95% of all my answers. What I should do, where and when. The fact of the matter is, I need to learn to trust ME. I need to understand that I CAN make a good decision, I AM worthy of success, and I CAN make it all happen. I just need to de-clutter my house, head, and life, and that creates more room to figure out the HOW. I know that.

 

-BUT-

 

In doing so, there will be no more excuses, no one to blame, no reason to curse outside forces. I will be ultimately responsible for my own results...

 

Very scary.

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