I am just gonna skip to what is really relevant in the past few years of my life and also let you know what I would like for the future. 

  I had always felt that my life was on track.  About 4 years ago I married a girl who I was dating for almost 8 years.  We moved back to her home town and in less than 3 months (about a year ago) I caught her cheating on me.  So be it, and good riddens. I do not have time for people like that who I thought I trusted.  I have moved on and have started a new life for myself. I started dating again, and found a girl who I settled down with.  There was no thoughts of marriage or anything of that sort, just dating and getting to know each other.  

  We recently found out, well more like 4 months ago that she was pregenant.  We were always safe etc, etc...and still. We went through the range of emotions from confused, sad, and now sheer enjoyment and excitement.  There is a seven year difference between us, but that is just a number.  Even though we are not married, we are going to have the child raise it as if we were.  We want to focus on having a healthy baby first then take some time for our future together as a couple.

  We are in love and we both think this is a great luck, conincidence, blessing (call it what you may) for 2 good (and very similar) people to meet, connect and now move forward with our lives, with the creation of a new life. 

  I am crazy excited as she is as well.  Both of our families are being very supportive and are likwise, excited.  I thought that I couln't ask or need more and I felt like life was "back on track".  But recently I have been having doubts about how I will be as a father, things in my life which I want to accomplish and an over all scence of knowing I am living my life to it's fullest.  I want this to carry into my family life as well as onto people I meet.   

   So, what am I realistically looking to do?

   I need to get back into shape.  I have a poor body image. I have only been out of the gym for 5 months but that is more than enough time.  I have an anxiety to actually walk in for some reason.  I want to be able to keep my routine and live a fit and healthy life style.

   I need to be the best man I can possiably be for my family and my child which is due in April (I will let ya'll know the sex here in a few weeks).  This includes but not limited to, becoming more financially secure.  I want to raise my childern at a higher level at which I was raised (which was comfortable). 

   I love my job and in this market it is hard to keep a posative mind when a lot of people are getting layed off around me.  Yes this does say that I am doing something right, but keeping focused and performing beyond other is my goal. 

  I smoke...need I say more.  I do not like taking medication and I know that I can beat it with a bit of persistance and actually giving it my all (this time around).  Children will make thier own choices further in life and they do not need to be influenced by thier own father.  I need to live a long "clean"life" to see my childrens children. 

  I want to be a better person who is happy and sucessful...but who doesn't, that is why I am here and want to work hard to be that person.