4 weeks

Well i sure wish i learned about the big bump in week 3.  Week 3 was not very good for me, allot of negative mind sets, lazy patterns, etc.  But 4 weeks in and i am really seeing that the little things i do in my life are what make life what it should be.  Yes i might not enjoy my job, but that is such a small part of what my day is about.  The sunset this morning was beautiful, my waitress at lunch had a stunning smile, my dog is so happy to see me when i get home, i am running 3 miles in under 30 minutes.  I am achieving and really filling out as a person.  It is hard to look at myself sometimes honestly and see the things i want to change because it can feel so depressing to have so much i dont like about myself.  But i am in contorl.  I am changing those things, and it is showing.  Im smiling for no reason, passing on compliments to others around me (see waitress above) and feel that spark start to come to life in me again.  I have realized the reason i fall so hard after a relation ship ends is because of the self doubt i feel, all the what ifs and self blame.  I have made the commitment to live in a way where i weill never have to say what if.  I am going to make sure i give what i can and get what i deserve.

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