First let me just say I have never written a blog or shared my thoughts on any kind of website or social site. However, I think some may benefit from what I am about to convey.
My parents divorced when I was 2 and I spent time with both parents throughout my childhood. I noticed that each parent had a different opinion of me and my abilities. It seemed to me that one thought I could do no wrong and the other thought I couldn't help but do wrong. Naturally I am certain that my observations were not completely accurate but I think you can see the point I am trying to make. This caused quite a lot of confusion for me and I naturally tended to agree more with the parent that thought I could do no wrong.
As a result I blamed all my shortcomings and weaknesses on everything from planetary alignments to past life karmic debt, anything but me. Obviously, I know better now.
My other parent, who would actually tell me when I was doing wrong, would always say 'take responsibility'. If I had a nickel for everytime I heard it no of us here would want for anything again :)
This is getting long so let me try to wrap this up with my general idea. I started taking responsibility, I started to agree with the other parent who said I did wrong. I started to agree with other things they said as well.....like I must be stupid, lazy or worthless....surely that is the only reason I would do the things I did. Mind you, at this point I did not understand why taking responsibility was important, the parent never told me why I should take responsibility but it must be important because it was repeated so often.
Well currently in my life, thankfully, I now understand why taking responsibility is important. If I take responsibility for my actions then that means I have control over my actions. If I act in a way that I find destructive, selfish or just plain ugly then I have complete power to change my actions. If I didn't take responsibility then I couldn't change it. In my mind I would have to wait for some outside source to come to my rescue!
Now here is the 'different take' I alluded to in the title. I took responsibility for my actions and my shortcomings but then I started to focus on the shortcomings. I started to pay more attention to my 'faults' than on my ability to change them. This was counter productive. I started to believe what I was told when I was younger. I thought to myself,'surely I have these faults because I am stupid, lazy and worthless'.
One day I had an 'Aha' moment and I started to understand why taking responsibility was not 'working' for me like I thought it should. I forgot one simple detail, the last step of taking responsibility if you will, forgive yourself and move on. Sounds simple doesn't it? Trust me though the benefits of this last step are profound. You have some 'faults' that are causing you trouble? Own them, take responsibility then forgive yourself and change them.
That day I wrote something in my notes that I read quite often to this day. "While it may be honorable to point out my weaknesses lingering on the only serves to lower my motivation and raise my feelings of helplessness.
I am by no means in a position to tell anyone how to fix their life. I do not claim to know a magic formula to fix all problems in life but, I do have a sincere desire that someone, anyone may read this and understand that they may have some room for improvement but they are not lazy, stupid or worthless and forgive themselves and change.
Sorry it was so long but I just had to put it out there.
