Thanks to creativeamp for reminding me to keep up with the blogs and updates. They've kinda taken a back seat the last couple of days as things have snowballed. What I tried to do for those days, is to keep a level head and attack what I can and prioritize as best as I could the things that were trying to kick my testes. Not sure what the final outcome is, but I'm still breathing.
So I'm still stuck in this uber unhealthy environment I call a "home." I know in my gut how unhealthy it all is, but the positive I'm taking out of it is my endurance at being a professional "me." It's easy to be professional when you're in a good place, surrounded by good people, who want to do "good." It's a whole another story when you are surrounded by miserable people who want company at the pity party. My wife is in a sad state. She's at a place in her life where she isn't taking responsibility for anything. You know people like this. On the outside, they are put together, organized, beautiful, and they seem to have everything going for them. The flip side is that we all have our insecurities, things that we can improve, and fears. It's part of life. The two ways you can deal with it are:
1) Accept it for what it is. Endure the misery and make no attempt to enforce change.
2) Take action. It's a slow process. It's a difficult process. It hurts; a lot.
I'm not praising how great I am for trying to take action. It's just something I'm choosing to do. In her case, she finds all aspects of her life to try and blame why and how she is miserable. It makes me sad. Even through all the shit she is trying to pin on me, even through all the horribly nasty things she says, the fights she instigates, the insults, inside she is hurting, and it's the type of hurt that comes from the self. There is no magic pill, there is no solution other than to to attack the things that are making your life shitty one by one.
As always: My grateful list.
- HALLOWEEN!!! Even though the moments in purgatory (aka: my house) were painful, I got to spend time with my daughter and the Ink crew. BTW, what happened to full size candy bars?
- B-day party for my little girl's friend Zooey. Steak Fajitas + Burgers + 7 layer dip + Corona, Tecate, Jack & Coke = more time at the gym for me.
- Did I mention Halloween? In a college town? Thank you to all the ladies who felt it was necessary to bring back "sexy." For the ladies who weren't sexy, but tried to bring it back anyways, 10 pts for effort.
- "This year, Halloween fell on a weekend, me and Geto Boys are trick or treating...." for those of you who know some more, feel free to contribute in the comments. RED DRAGONS!!
- Ladies with them light eyes. I don't care if they are contacts. Tinted windows to the soul are still magnificent and beautiful.
As bizarre as this last part might sound, give your friends and family some love in the form of a hug. Got my first one in about 2 months from my girl Rikki. She's Peruvian, and EXTREMELY hott. We're friends because I'm old, asian, and she has a boyfriend, but she gives amazing hugs. They're the kind that warm your intestines and kinda melt you from the inside out. She smells phenomenal as well. There isn't anything better than the smell of a woman who takes care of herself. Wish I had pics to share, but I don't. Things move at a blinding pace these days. It's what we call the present, and what the people in the past called the future. But one thing hasn't changed: the smell of a beautiful woman, the shimmer from a pair of glorious eyes, the feminine shape that has a strut and swagger as opposed to a walk = things that drive men to do stupid shit. It motivates us to be cooler than we really are. It makes us spend that extra 15 minutes at the gym. It helps us push out that one more rep. It gives us second thoughts on that 3rd or 4th beer. In essence and reality, it instills in us passion.