It's been a while since I last posted anything, so I wanted to revisit and let those of you who read my shit know that I'm still alive. I've somewhat recentered myself and have dragged myself out of my slump. Sort of.
I'm at a point where I'm faced with a decision. I don't want to delude you into thinking that this decision will carry magnanimous repercussions, but it sure as hell seems like it, right here and now. My goal is to be free from attachment from the materialistic nature of society. In the near future, because of my marital "fun" I know that I will have to look for a job/career. My problem is that I'm not searching for something that will provide me with millions or even hundreds of thousands of dollars. I want meaning. But I'm conflicted because my desire to have a purpose with meaning is counter balanced by all that surrounds my everyday life. I see nothing but lives motivated by greed, self fulfillment, etc. My practice in Buddhism is supposed to encourage me to see that these selfish intentions are based in ignorance and to exude compassion. But I'm not there yet. I see rampant assholes, an abundance of douche bags, and I see the suffering they inflict on others as well as themselves. I'm not supposed to be angry about it, but I am.
To close on a somewhat lighter note, can someone explain to me when it became cool to be a douche bag? I went bar hopping with some friends last weekend for one of my boys who turned 21. Just to preface all this, I've had the same haircut and have been working on my tatts for the last 10 yrs. I didn't get the memo that stated that the style I've been sporting for the last decade somehow became the uniform for all douche bags. Complete with variances in the form of Tap Out and Affliction t-shirts. So what differentiates individuality vs. douche-bag-ality? It's a thin line that divides self-confidence (which is something beneficial) and pure unadulterated arrogance. It's pretty apparent as to what separates the two.
As was customary, but something I haven't done in a while, here is a brief list of shit I'm thankful for:
- Females with Auburn hair.
- Delicate hands. We often times focus on eyes, smiles, proportionate noses, breasts, etc. We forget that beautiful hands sometimes are alluring as well.
- Yoga classes and the outfits on young, nubile females that attend college that participate in said yoga classes. Not meant to sound so sexual, but the female form when taken care of in this art is a beautiful thing.
- I'm thankful I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to be the only male in a yoga class.