Member Since: 08/14/09
Last Login: 08/23/10
Program Progress: Day 50
You are a very deep person and that was an incredible letter. Somewhere, you lost control of your life and lost yourself in the process. I have not seen you on here before, although you are ahead of me in the program. While I do not have your answers (those are within you as you know), I can offer support while you face your fears and change your life for the better. It will be hard work for sure, but you deserve happiness! I did not want my marriage to end in divorce either, but it is not fair or right for another person to just use and walk all over you with no regard for your feelings, needs or wants. Relationships should be about giving and supporting each other for the benefit of BOTH! I hope you continue to post. You will find LOTS of support here – people who truly care about you and want to see you happier and living with purpose!
Even though you say you do not know who you are right now… I already like you. I can tell that you have great potential and a beautiful soul by what you have written. Keep coming back and reach out to the community here. I think it will help you a lot!
You're not alone
I was struck by your words "I still haven't found what I'm looking for. I don't even know what it is I'm looking for. " and your search for meaning. Lately I keep going back to :
" A way that can be walked
is not The Way
A name that can be named
is not The Name'
I am not sure why this passage gives me comfort but it makes me less anxious about life and feeling like I am missing something. I suppose it makes me humble and makes material achievements less important. I dunno - I may very well be misunderstanding it. I do know that I was in a similar position to you a couple of years ago marriage and career-wise and I recognize that same claustrophobia, depair and anixeity I had (and still do some days). But I think you are further ahead realizing it than I was. Hope this helps anyway. great blog. be strong.
I was wondering where you went, man! We were pretty close in days on this program before. I wish you could have stuck in there with me.
Seriously, it's NEVER too late to change. I felt your pain. My ex-wife did THE SAME THING TO ME on New Year's Eve two years ago. While I did not have a kid in the mix, she left to party with her friends while I drove 45 minutes to sit in our therapists office for FOUR HOURS discussing my feelings and her lack of. I was lost, scared, and desperate.
Your posts before this one were full of promise. I would love to see that again from you. The days ahead are going to be very shitty, I won't lie, but KEEP COMING BACK TO THIS SITE AGAIN! You don't have to suffer alone and you won't be your soon-to-be-ex-wife's punching bag anymore. This program honestly changed my perceptions on love, women, life, and the way I viewed myself. I am almost done and have discarded all the crap that 2009 dumped on me. I can honestly say I am changed by TOOLs.
I think your daughter will appreciate you more if you give her the love I know you're providing and she will eventually see through the plastic love your wife's giving through material things. Always teach your daughter that happiness comes from within, NOT from anything without.
I am really glad you're back, man. You're story of dying love was very similar to mine and I want to help you out. Friends did the same for me when i was going through separation and divorce, and friends on this site saved me from myself this past year.
HANG TIGHT, SIR. I am with you, my bro.