How do you not be a victim?

To a degree I disagree with coach on this one.  The first time I went through the program I actually consider discontinuing with his comments of you are not a victim you are a willing participant.  I disagree in several areas, I don't agree that a child asked to be abused (yes I was).  I don't agree a woman asked to be stalked (yes I was).  I don't agree that a woman asked to be battered (yes I was).  And, on the list goes, but I do agree that it is our choice to continue with the stigma, fear, trauma and so on that comes with them.  I spent many years with, p.t.s.d., mpd, clinical depression and on the list goes.  You name it, I could claim it.  But, I now make a choice to use those events that were less than positive, less than nurturing, less than ideal to make a difference in other peoples lives.  

In many ways, the easy thing to do is to stay stuck.  To not smile. Last time I went through this exercise I thought he was crazy, this year, I get excited to the bone!!! And, in fact, have found myself squealing.  In so many ways, it's nice to have people pat  you on the back and so, "oh you poor thing".  But, after awhile, that becomes less than productive.  It holds you back and stops you from moving forward.  It gets you stuck.

There is truth to the statement, that if you get stuck then you are focusing on the wrong things.  Change your focus and you soon become unstuck.  I know this is true from first hand experience.  When I have people over to my house and they understand that they are cared for, that they are truly loved, the pain starts to melt.  The isolation starts to fall away, and the changes start to begin. 

With all that I've been through, we will be starting a ranch to help people get "unstuck".  The biggest thing I think people lack is knowing that they are loved unconditionally.  And, with all that I've been through I can now look back and understand that it is through their pain (the ones that wounded me) and through their not knowing love, that they acted in the ways they acted in.  And, if I can get through to just one person that's been where I've been, then believe it or not, it will have all been worth it.

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Tags: Train the Brain, bad things, Depression, moving forward, deeper, self-development, development, Self Development, stuck, mental illness