I am in the very beginning this program, and I am becoming very aware of how much power I have given to other people to mold me into what they wanted me to be...rather than just being me.
I have made entire careers out of doing things that my parents suggested, rather than doing what I really wanted to do.
I have not gone forward with things I wanted because it didn't fit into the pictures of other people I was involved with or surrounded by.
I have put my goals on hold to help others reach theirs, knowing they would be so grateful that when theirs was attained, they would then do the same for me. Yeah, right!
I think my concerns were that I would lose my friends/relationships, etc. if I didn't do things exactly that way. If I gave someone the generosity of letting them be first, they would see that my goals were met, too.
I'm happy to say that those ridiculous patterns are going away. I'm finding myself pushing forward in my own directions, and finding healthier, happier friends along the path. I am no longer afraid to speak my truth and am confident that all that will happen if I continue to do so, is that I will attract people with similar interests.
I've been in the inner-work arena for many years now, and I'm grateful for this first week of Tools because this gives me a way to really look at my own status...in writing...my writing; And hopefully meet some kind truth-seekers along the way.