Renewal

I am thrilled that I found Tools to Life.  It's perfect for what I need.  I totally resonate with the messages here. 

I had the most wonderfully alive day today, my third day in this program.  Long story, but have come through the fire in the past two and a half years - child diagnosed with a chronic illness, breast cancer, infections, taking a health sabbatical from a wonderful job, seeing my husband through brain surgery a month ago... 

This morning, I decided to write out my vision, which I will share below.  Then I went for a 5 mile bike ride, my third in three days.  Glorious, considering that last year at this time I was too weak to bike more than a block and a half.  I came back and chatted with two neighbors.  I heard myself sharing authentically about who I am and what I want.  They said that my fears about going back to work and being at a career crossroad was understandable.  Where I'd been feeling like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, they, and a friend yesterday, reminded me that I could learn to fly, if I just let go of my fear and be open to what the universe has to offer me.

I felt enormous gratitude all day long for being alive and healthy, for my husband's health, for the gorgeous weather...

So, I relaxed.  I bumped into a former boss, who encouraged me that if offered the job of school superintendent, which is a distinct possibility, I should take it, even though I was balking, saying I wasn't prepared to go from 0-120 mph after nearly a year off.  I want balance in my life.  I don't want to give myself away.  She said I was perfect for the job and that it was easier than being a principal, not to be afraid.  She said that it really was a 9 to 5 job, not an around the clock job, like being principal was.

Then, long story, but I met a woman on the train and happened to make really helpful comment on an ad she was looking at that was clearly in the proofing stage.  I told her I enjoyed the challenge.  Then, for no real reason, I told her I was a high school principal in career transition.  She wasn't from the ad agency.  She was the owner of the company being advertised.  She invited me in for an interview.  I figured I had nothing to lose, so I said that I really was only considering jobs that paid in the 100s - I really didn't want to be bothered going inf for an interview for a 60K job. She said she needed someone to take over her NY office, she would like to meet with me next Tuesday.  So, I made a note of her phone number and address in my calendar.

When I came home, I got a disturbing call from my son's friend's mother about how the two of them had misbehaved really badly today.  In the past, I would have been totally furious and have blasted my son with my temper and with shame.  Today, I decided to treat him like he was someone else's child, to

ask him what happened.  He told on himself honestly.  We had an open discussion about what he did wrong.  He was initially defensive, because he was afraid of wrath and punishment, but then he admitted that he had made some bad choices and wouldn't do it again.  My husband and I meted out a fair consequence.  It was the most adult and least contentious experience we've ever had with him around discipline. Major progress.

Meantime, I had a wonderful telephone conversation with a friend of twenty years, in which we shared about the mystic quality of life, and how it can be such a wonderful journey when we are open to it.

Next, a former student of mine, who I helped tremendously during a crisis in his life, who just graduated from college, called out of the blue and  invited my family and me out for dinner, then came over to hang out at home with us.  My son played sitar music and we were setttling in...

Just when I thought life couldn't get much sweeter, the phone rang.  It was a callback for an interview.  I'll be meeting with the interviewer tomorrow.  Sweet.

I feel like I am on the right path.  I am letting go of my fear and owning my potential.

This is what I wrote when I woke up this morning:

Life/Work Vision

I want to have balance in my life, so that I can have serenity, order, clarity, and health:

• Two hours to myself in the morning to read, pray, meditate, write, exercise, shower, eat, get home in basic good order.
• Time for at least 3-5 spiritual meetings/week.
• Synagogue once a week.
• One hour in the evening to email, make telephone calls, read, make space for myself.
• One hour in the evening to get home, numbers, paperwork in good order.
• One hour a week for family meeting.
• One hour a week for couples meeting.
• One evening a week for a date with my husband.
• One family activity per week.
• Two social activities per month, e.g.; going to a museum, inviting friends home
• I want to work no more than 35-40 hours a week.
• I want to be able to work from home at least two to three days a week.

I want to shift the balance in our home, using the skills I know from work, so that we share the responsibilities and work as a team.  I want to give up my need to control, be in charge, know it all, take care of everything, live others’ lives…

I want to be able to use my skills and experience to serve and contribute:

• I most enjoy developing resources and opportunities that promote people’s creativity, skills development and human development.
• I enjoy motivating others.
• I am an inspirational public speaker.
• I write well.
• I enjoy “selling” meaningful ideas.
• I have solid leadership skills.
• I have solid conflict mediation skills.
• I am a good planner.
• I am good at seeing the large picture.
• I am good at visioning.
• I bring other people and resources in to think things through fully, so that vision is collaborative and shared.
• I am good at figuring out steps to make vision happen and finding the support to do so.
• I am extraordinarily resourceful.
• I am creative.
• I am able to identify strength in others and help them develop their own strength.
• I am passionate about my work.
• I set excellent boundaries between work and personal life.

I want to earn enough money to support:

• Solvency

• Meeting all of our basic expenses, including medical, haircuts, clothing, car maintenance
• Hiring household help
• Swim club membership, e.g.; the YMCA
• Three vacations a year, two local, one abroad
• Tutors, recreational activities, music lessons for Zach.
• Savings for college, retirement and a prudent reserve
• Gifting/Hosting – friends, charitable organizations
• Debt repayment

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Tags: Career, Achievements