Back to basics

I came back from a music and dance camp vacation a week ago.  I had a fantastic time.  Danced, sang, swam, kayaked (is that even a verb?), was regaled daily with music by amazing instrumentalists.  The food was great.  We've known many of the people at the camp for years, so had time to reconnect.

I have to admit that getting back in to Tools in a committed, disciplined way has been difficult since I came back.  In fact, since I started working full time, it's been more difficult.  If I really dig deep, it's not just because of a lack of time - that's always a ready excuse - but because of fear of commitment.  That's at the heart of the matter.  Committing to self-improvement means letting go of mindless behaviors that no longer serve you, taking on new disciplined behaviors and really listening to your inner voice, even when you'd rather tell it to leave you alone, so you can just continue living in the same old ruts you used to - not because they make you happy, but because they are known.  It's easy to slide back into the path of least resistance. 

I'm admitting that I have been hitting some pockets of resistance that I need to work through.  I have seen others go back to an earlier day to recommit to the program and have wondered why.  I am now wondering if I should do the same.  Or, if not, how I can deepen my commitment at this juncture.  I know that Tools works.  The program has helped me to change some very deep core attitudes and ways of being, which has been profound.  I've been finding myself thinking that this is enough already.  But I know it isn't.  I have much more to gain.

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Tags: commitment, discipline, Change