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Join Now The Subject of Death by Krystalshard
 
Krystalshard
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Birth Date: Sat, Aug 08 1959

Place of residence:
Ogilvie MN, United States (map)

I am: Married

Schools: University of Northern Colorado

Jobs: Admin Asst, Registration/Scheduler Medical Clinic, VOICE OVER ARTIST

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Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 07/31/07
Last Login: 12/15/08
Viewed: 172142
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 92
Krystalshard's Challenges:

Krystalshard's Participating:
use less water
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 Mom
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Krystalshard's Life List:
To be confident, caring and creative in all I do.
To live a joyful life in spite of adversity.
To make my living in my choice of career, not at a job for money.
To travel far and wide upon the earth and meet people from everywhere.
To give back to those who have supported me all these past years.
To share my talents with others
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The Subject of Death

 

 

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Krystalshard

  Krystalshard

Tue, Oct 09 12:00 AM

The Subject of Death

 Now on day 62, this subject is confronted. So how do these things happen?  By chance?  Maybe not.  I am dealing with my husband's 20 years long relationship with kidney cancer, and now his heart is troubling it all.  Daily, I come home from work and learn how well or how badly his day has gone.  Daily, I face the mental barrage of questions as to my future.  I know about this "attitude is my decision" tool all too well.  I began this program partly because I know I need to have my affairs in order as well as his.  I need to acquire my own individual path, to be happy and have directions of my own.  He can come with, as I'm doing this for "us" as well.  I hope he does... but today, I don't know how long.  He's my best friend, and even though I've been mentally rehearsing the inevitable scenario on and off for all of these years, I have never seen it unfolding in reality.  Denial is losing its power.  I must be ready.

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# Tags: mental barrage, affairs in order, denial

 

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comments

rnblogger rnblogger:

You have my support

You're not alone You're not alone.  Prayers of love for you, friend.

BJ15 BJ15:

Love and comfort

I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I can promise to hold you in my heart and prayers today.

 

May God walk with you through this journey and keep you strong in your daily challenges.