even stronger already

so every tuesday night my brother in law and i have a poker game that we go to. its alot of fun and kind of a cheap buy in, and if you loose its really more about hanging out with the friends and having a couple of drinks. Well one of my big things that I am trien to change in this program is my drinking habbits, they have seriously gotten out of control recently. I was thinking that i might just not go to poker night, but then i remember reading this pamplet once about controling your weekness or letting them control you.

so i went. i was a little bit supprised and releaved to see that a friend of mine that goes to the same game every week was also trien to stop drinking. It was like a ban waggon and we were gonna see if we could ride it together. well it wasnt but a few hours into the game and my co-pilot failed me. 

It was only once of someone saying "hey how about i just poor you half a drink" and he was gone, it was just drink after drink for him after that point. 

At one point i was sitting there lighting a sig putting it out and relighting it just to keep my mind off of drinking. I kept chanting as much as i could in my head "My health is important to me" and "no one else here cares about my health, and someone has to." 

wellp its 12pm the next day and i have not had a drink. I was sooo happy with myself. i went to sleep sober last night, i can remember the whole night, i woke up and was able to get started with my day this morning.

Its soo amazing how small decisions like deciding to go to poker night and challenging myself to see how well i can do, can be so uplifting and really helps me to remember that i can control my life and my health. even if sometimes i make bad decisions and choose not to, i know i am very capable.  

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